Page 35 of Diverge

She chuckles, her eyes smiling into mine. “Who knew you were such a romancer, Nathan.”

“For you, I’d be a fucking clown if I had to.” I smirk.

BILLIE

Sweat pools in my palms as I wait for Finn to answer the door. Once again, I have come to hear him out like I promised I would, and this time I really hope he gives me what I want.

A proper explanation.

Grace opens the door and pulls me into a bear hug.

“I’m so glad you guys are working things out.” She cocks her head to the side and smiles. “I can't wait for things to go back to the way they were.”

“Baby steps, Grace.”

I walk into the huge lounge slash kitchen area and see Finn in a tight white T-shirt with grey sweats. I don’t think I have ever seen him in anything but a suit since he has returned. No, wait. The bonfire night, that’s right. How could I forget the washboard abs? Blinking the image out of my head, I take a seat on the white leather lounge.

“I’ll let you guys talk. I’m going to see Michael,” she squeals. “I think we might be working things out.”

I give her a genuine smile. “I’m so happy to hear that, Grace.” And it’s the truth, I am. She deserves happiness. Hell, everyone does.

“Okay, now please, don’t kill each other.” She points between Finn and I. Turning, she grabs her keys off the counter and leaves, closing the door behind her. Finn takes a seat dangerously close to me, so I shift slightly.

“I don’t know how to start or where to start,” he confesses without beating around the bush, and I appreciate that he’s willing to try. Sighing, I bite the inside of my bottom lip, a terrible habit I’ve picked up. “Please believe me when I tell you I never meant to hurt you.”

You know what? A part of me really does believe him. Call me stupid or ignorant, but I do.

“Why didn’t you at least send me a text? Or a call? Something.” I clench my jaw shut as I try to control the rush of emotions threatening to pummel through the dam. His shoulders slump as he runs his hands through his hair.

“I honestly thought it would have been better for you to hate me. Easier for you somehow.”

I flinch. “Easier? You thought that made iteasierfor me? We knew each other for so long, and then straight after we slept together, you took off for Europe and didn’t say goodbye to me, nor did you contact me ever again after that... and you thought that waseasieron me?” My breath hitches as tears threaten to break through. I hold them back with everything I have got.

“I’m so sorry, B. I should have come straight to you and told you what was going on. It was absolute cowardice on my part, and I apologize. You didn’t deserve that.” He holds my hands in his.

“I was young, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I thought if you’d hate me, you could move on a lot quicker.” Sighing, he continues.

“My father said we were moving to France and building another law firm from the ground up. Building, staffing, everything from scratch. It would take us years, so I knew we would be there for a while. I didn’t want to string you along with false hope.” He bows his head.

“I’m a fucking idiot. I could have mended this thing between us so much earlier, but I never had the guts to face you. Then I thought maybe if you saw I had moved on, it would urge you to move on, too.” His eyes are red, likely from working long hours.

“I never, ever wanted to intentionally hurt you. Everything I did, I thought of you. I neveroncestopped thinking of you.” He looks almost broken when he speaks next.

“I loved you, Billie. Istilllove you.” The confession catches me off guard. Unsure of what to say, I pull my hands from his, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

“You don’t have to feel the same way. I would not expect you to after everything.”

“I need time,” I finally say after a few seconds pass between us.

He nods in understanding.

“I need to process all of this.” I wave around at nothing.

The reality of the situation is I know I feel something for him. I know it’s been years, and hearing him declare his feelings doesn’t help in the slightest. It just made everything so much harder.

“Take all the time you need,” he says.

“I just have one question.” I purse my lips, unsure if I should ask, but I decide to anyway.

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