Page 36 of Diverge

“Did you ever see us together? Like if you didn’t move to another country?”

He sighs, and for a moment, my stomach does a summersault, afraid of his answer.

“You were my future, B.” Tears begin to roll down my face as I quickly gather my things and head for the door, refusing to let him see me break down again. It was a mistake asking him that question because after all, what would it fix?

Nothing.

Absolutelynothing.

Without looking back, I walk out wondering if that last question was necessary. My mind rattles with confusion as I begin to imagine what life would have been like if he never left.

I allow myself ten minutes inside my car to cry. How could I not after Finn just told me he loved me and saw a future with me all those years ago? Maybe things would be different if I wasn’t so stubborn and just did whatever I could to get into contact with him.

Did I give up too easily?

Was it my fault things turned out this way?

No.

I’m not about to blame myself for someone else’s mistake, and that’s exactly what this is. Finn’s mistake. I’m done mourning something that could have been. Guilt stabs into my heart when I remember I lied to Nate about where I am. I didn’t have to lie, after all I wasn’t doing anything wrong but something about meeting Finn to discuss the past felt... off. I’m sure if I told Nate that I wanted to hear Finn out, that he would understand completely.

So why didn’t I say anything? I groan.

Why the fuck am I the way I am?

“Fuck!” I yell in utter frustration, banging my palms on the steering wheel.

*****

Ihaven’t spoken toFinn for ten days since his ‘explanation.’ I don’t really have anything to say. After processing the information, I kind of understand why he did what he did.

I’m not about to forgive and forget, though. I don’t think I couldeverforget.

We were young and had no idea how to be emotionally mature. We felt things deeply and had no idea how to act accordingly based on our emotions, so I get it. That doesn’t excuse the act, but I understand him.

Thank God Friday seemed to roll around quickly this week because I am almost out of willpower to continue faking a smile at work. My ever-growing to-do list keeps piling up, Fiona keeps riding me, and I’m so close to quitting that I almost sigh in relief as the clock ticks over to five thirty.

I’ve spent my days at the office, working my full-time job, and a few hours at night working with Mackenzie Law’s marketing team to get things going for their new brand refresh. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’ve also been crashing at Nate’s quite a bit over the past few days. He’s been helping... get my mind off things, plus I think I’m honestly starting to see my feelings grow for him. The way he cares for me, no one has ever cared for me like this before.

Grace’s party inches closer and closer with every day that passes, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cause me some anxiety. It shouldn’t, considering there’s nothing to be anxious over, but I can’t help but think about how things might go down between Nate and Finn, given that one of them professed his love to me and the other just might.

I spend the whole drive to Nate’s house listening to my current favourite song on repeat. “Die4u” by Bring Me the Horizon blasts through my speakers as I soak in every single beat, every single lyric. There’s nothing quite like metalcore to get your mind off things for a while.

Driving up to Nate’s house, I haul my stuff out of the car, walk in, and dump it on the lounge.

Nate takes a look at my duffel bag on the lounge and smirks. “I don’t remember asking you to move in.”

I roll my eyes at his sarcastic comment. “You know as well as I do that a woman needs way more things than a man. So don’t get me started.”

He walks up to me, and his eyes drop to my pencil skirt.

“Maybe Iwantto start with you.” He’s not wearing a shirt; his perfectly sculpted muscles and intricate tattoos are on full display. I let my gaze linger for too long, feeling myself involuntarily squeeze my thighs together just at the sight of him.

“Do you have to walk around shirtless? I’ve seen your cupboard, and you own plenty of them.”

I wave at his bare torso. He wraps his arms around me, pressing himself into me.

“I just love watching you admire me, thinking about all the ways I can please you.” He presses his erection against my stomach. I hear footsteps coming from the hall as we are interrupted by Noah’s voice.

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