Page 22 of The Burnt Heart

I leaned against the wall, chewing my lip. It would take me out of Greenich Bay and that was what I wanted.

“Send me the details.”

My heart was in Greenich Bay. Although she didn’t believe it anymore. But this was all a layover until I could hold her again.

11

Briar

Logan closed the door behind him, and I immediately felt off kilter. Fear mounted inside me, and I worried there wouldn’t be a resolution. Losing Adelaide would shatter me into pieces, and I had been too busy thinking of our future to stop fumbling the present. Now we were marinating in regret. Two entire months of inaction.

Jesse kept his eyes glued to his phone, scowling down at the illuminated screen.

“That look means trouble,” I sighed.

“Logan can run away for two months, but I refuse to sit around and wait for Adelaide to fall in love with Ray Donato.” He flicked me a heavy look. A shiver of apprehension ran through me. Did he honestly think that was a possibility? “Don’t worry, I’ll give her space. But I’m not taking my eyes off her.”

He tapped the screen, a satisfying ping echoing in the room.

“She hasn’t turned her location off. Deliberate, do you think?” His lips kicked upwards hopefully.

“If only, but unlikely.” Adelaide hadn’t done an update on her phone for six years. That was always something I had done for her. Jesse fisted his keys and set his jaw.

“Well, I’m going to check in on our girl. Don’t get too lonely without me.” He tossed me a salute and jogged for the door. I managed five minutes in our apartment before cracking. The quietness was oppressive. It felt wrong without all of us there. I snatched up my bag and jacket and fled. Somehow, my legs took me somewhere even more saturated with memories.

Calder Place.

I lay back against the trunk of our tree, below the carving of our initials. Wincing at the sharp twinge of pain in my chest. Soon this wouldn’t exist. Adelaide had pledged to destroy it, but in my feverish thoughts I held onto the hope that she would change her mind. From my bag, I pulled a glossy notebook and pen. The spine cracked as I opened it to the first blank page. I’d chosen it for the photo of a mountain on the front. I was looking up a steep rise of wrongs that I had to conquer. My fingers worried the edge of the blank page. The words I wanted to write bubbled to the surface.

Day 1

Dear Adelaide,

I’m sitting at our tree in Calder Place, near our mark. I miss you so much I can’t breathe. There is a sense of rightness here that I only ever feel when you’re in my arms. I’m an idiot. I have been trying to unravel where it all began, why we made these choices. You are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. From the moment I saw you, face streaked with tears, I was a goner. We were three ragtag boys who would never have been in the same room as you, except fate intervened.

I never felt worthy of you. A no name loser who had nothing to offer, except myself. Even the three of us together don’t amount to anything worthy of you. I wanted so desperately to prove I was someone who could stand beside you. My whole life I’ve been forgotten and ignored, my own family didn’t want me. We haven’t been truthful, and I want to tell you everything. The weight of these secrets is too heavy for me to carry any longer. I don’t want to give excuses, but you deserve the truth. It doesn’t make up for what we did, but I need you to know I’m not going to just apologize. I was afraid of losing you, and the cruel irony is that it ended up with me being alone again.

I closed the book, inordinately tired from the short words I’d written. But it was a step in the right direction. Adelaide deserved to see the true Briar. I’d been hiding a choking darkness from everyone. A twisted creature that squatted on my chest, fused to my very being. I let go of a shaky breath, my chest felt like it was gaping open, and my heart pumped vulnerably. Fixing the betrayal was one thing, but Nicole was another. The lies that she’d spewed had blindsided me. Now Adelaide believed I craved someone else.

All I wanted was her, but who was I? I had nothing to offer, worse I was tainted inside. But the way our lies had been dragged into the light had scarred me. I had to face my demons and admit out loud what I had never told another living soul. Adelaide had two months of space, and I had two months to sort my head out. I was going to write to her every day, to be honest in a way I had never been. This wasn’t a time for bravado.

I had lost my girl.

I needed to strip to my core, right to the lanky, scrappy teenager inside who saw nothing worth loving. My stomach revolted at the thought of sharing these thoughts, but I rode the wave until it subsided. Not having Adelaide in my life again?That was a worse option. I was going to make myself a man worthy of her, and that started with these letters.

It started with making me believe it, too. I ran my fingers over the trunk of our tree, staring up at our carving. I fumbled with my phone, bringing it to my ear.

“Sandy’s Tree Removal, how can I help?”

“I need to speak to someone about a tree.” I inhaled a breath infused with determination.

12

Jesse

Ipulled the cap low on my head, but the ruse was over. Jonah was staring straight at me with a scowl. Well, if he knew I was there, I may as well get a better view. I walked across the street and passed by the café window. My girl was smiling over her mug, captivated by the dark hair of someone I despised.

Adelaide was having coffee with Ray Donato.

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