Page 22 of Choose Me

"Well then, I'm sorry James can't be here, but welcome Everett." Her cheery tone only served to increase my inner turmoil, the weight of my loneliness crashing down on me like a thunderous wave, the torment of James' absence scraping against me like sandpaper.

"So, today, we were planning on doing the anatomy scan. Remind me whether or not you wanted to find out."

"We were going to--James and I were planning on it," I cleared my throat. "But since he can't be here, the plan is to wait until he can."

"Sounds like a plan. We will make sure to annotate in your file that you would like it to remain a surprise, and when you're ready, we can release those results to you. Why don't you go ahead and lay back, and we will do the ultrasound and check the baby out? When we get to the anatomy part, I will turn the screen, take some images, and finish the ultrasound. How does that sound?"

"Great," I replied, laying back and pulling the sheet to cover my legs. Laura pulled the bottom of my gown up to expose my belly and squeezed a generous amount of jelly onto my swollen belly, spreading it around with the transducer. She was quiet as she moved the wand over my skin, pressing into me gently for her images. I anxiously watched the screen as if I were trying to decipher some secret code and tried to make out the black-and-white image on the screen. She clicked a couple of buttons, and the image settled, and I saw the side profile of my baby. Its tiny hands were up by its face, and its nose was dainty and upturned like mine. I watched her outline organs and counted its fingers and toes.

Inhaling sharply, I felt an unexpected rush of emotion erupt from my core. I fought to quell them, holding my breath and blinking back my tears. The soft, steady thumping of my baby's heart filled the room, and I let out a sob.

Everett's warm palm pressed against mine, his unwavering support pushing back the torrent of emotions as hot tears spilled down my cheeks. I looked at him, and he wore an ear-to-ear smile as he watched the ultrasound screen. I didn't expect to see the genuinely happy expression on his face, but it was there, plain as day, and he didn't bother hiding it behind sarcasm and sex jokes. I was getting to see the real Everett, the person who had stayed by my side, giving me friendship even after I was no longer part of his job. He had been such a loyal friend to me and James, and I was immensely grateful for his support today.

Laura handed me a tissue, her eyes filled with sympathy as she continued with the ultrasound, turning the screen. I watched her study the screen, her expression focused. Everett's grip on my hand tightened, and after what seemed like an eternity, she finished the scan and wiped the jelly off my belly.

"So, everything looks great," she said, her face softening into a smile. "The baby's growing perfectly, and all the organs look healthy. I printed some images for you to take home without the anatomy."

I nodded in appreciation, my voice still choked with emotion.

"I'd like to see you again in four weeks, and if you have any concerns, please don't hesitate to call me."

"Thank you."

Everett left so I could get dressed, and as I collected my things, I stared down at the black and white images she had printed. I was taking a picture to send to James when his name flashed on the screen.

"Hey," I answered hoarsely, struggling to mask my sadness with a cheerful greeting.

"Hey, baby. How was the appointment?"

"It was good. I wish you were here," I replied, feeling a sharp sting in my chest.

He sighed heavily on the other side of the line, his regret tangible in every word he spoke."I know. I'm so sorry I'm not there. So fucking sorry, Ava."

"It's ok." I lied, hating how much it hurt not having him by my side through this.

It was not okay.

"Is everything okay with the baby?" He asked.

I hesitated for a moment before responding, "Yeah. Laura says the baby is growing, and everything looks great. I was about to send you a picture of the side profile, actually. Hold on, I'll send it now."

I waited for the picture text to say delivered, and when it came through that it had been seen, I held my breath and waited for James to speak.

"Oh my God. That's our baby." James broke the silence, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Baby, look at the little face. They look like you, thank God."

I let out a sigh.

"Aren't they the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

"Yes, baby. I can't believe a little person we created is growing inside you. I wish I could have seen this in person. I am sorry you had to be alone."

"I wasn't alone. Everett came."

"Oh, he did?" James responded, slight hints of jealousy creeping into his tone.

"Yeah, he was really supportive, and I was a ball of emotions because I just wanted you here, but it was nice to have someone.

"I fucking hate this." He groaned in response.

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