Page 21 of Choose Me

Brock leaned back, his expression softening. "Well, I will do whatever it takes to get you back home. I am here for you, Ava, and the baby, including babysitting duty."

I leaned forward and smiled gratefully. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

Brock reached across the table and squeezed my shoulder, "I am so happy that you have found someone that can handle your ass. Don't fuck it up."

I chuckled, "I am doing everything I can not to."

12

TWELVE

AVA

The day of my doctor's appointment was supposed to be a day of joy, but instead, I was fighting back tears. With James gone, I would have to tell my OB to keep it a secret until he came back home, and it killed me. The walls of the waiting room seemed to close in around me, the soft pink hues suffocating me as I sat there alone. Canvas-style photos of newborn babies plastered the walls, their angelic faces and long eyelashes reminding me that I would soon have a baby of my own.

A nurse called out my name as I sat there, lost in my thoughts. I took a deep breath and followed her down the hallway to the examination room. The room was stark white, with a bed in the center and various medical instruments on a stainless steel exam table. The nurse asked me some standard questions and then took my vitals, asking if there had been any changes that I wanted my midwife to know about. She offered me a gown and left me alone to change.

I sat on the exam bed, my bare feet dangling, and I wiggled my bare toes. I wondered if I should have kept my socks on. There were several sharp knocks on the door, and I turned to greet my midwife. I was shocked to see Everett instead.

"Hey?" I greeted him, my confusion palpable. "What are you doing here?"

He quietly closed the door and smiled. "I figured I would take his place since James can’t be here. Kind of like your support person." He shrugged nonchalantly and settled into the dark gray chair next to me.

"I promised James I would take care of you, and I keep my promises," he said with a shrug, but his eyes were burning into mine with an intensity that made my breath catch in my throat. "Don't overthink it."

"You didn't have to do that," I told him softly.

"I want to be here," he replied firmly.

My heart raced like a hummingbird's wings as I studied his face for an answer. It was strange having someone I considered one of my closest friends beside me during this intimate moment, but strangely comforting. I couldn't help but feel grateful for his presence.

I missed James. God, I missed him. He should be the one here, and we should find out whether we should pick out blues or pinks, but he wasn't.

Everett was.

As anger bubbled in my chest, I wished that James had chosen me and the baby over his job. I expected him, too. I wanted to shout at him, demanding an answer to why he didn’t stay. As much as I tried not to resent James for being in Miami, there was a part of me that did. But I told him to go. It's not like I didn't know the consequences he would face if he refused. I knew they would be worse than his absence in my life, but I felt lonely, and this was new territory for me. I wasn't blameless, though. I could have told him I needed him, but I didn't. I just stayed silent and told him it was okay to go. When in reality, it felt anything but okay.

With each passing day, the pressure mounted with this pregnancy and soon-to-be-mom thing. There was this impossible level of pressure to be perfect at it--from eating healthy, exercising, but not too much exercise, and making sure I didn't stress too much. I had no idea what postpartum would look like where I was now expected to bring home a tiny human and keep them alive, but I was learning every day what I was capable of.

I just craved my partner there by my side.

My midwife, Laura, came in shortly after Everett had come in. She smiled at Everett and welcomed him.

"Hi, Ava. How are you doing today?" She said softly, her smile warm and comforting.

Laura was a slender woman in her mid-fifties, with deep smile lines and crow's feet indicative of someone who lived a life full of laughter and joy. Her deep blue eyes were deep-set behind thick-rimmed black glasses, and her teeth were perfectly straight and obnoxiously white.

"I'm okay." I lied, plastering a fake smile on my face.

"How are you feeling? Is the baby moving?" She continued as she rubbed hand sanitizer on her hands.

"Yeah, quite a bit, actually."

"Good to hear." She turned to look at Everett. "I'm Laura." She held out her hand in greeting. Her brows raised ever so slightly at his presence as if she was formulating an opinion about his presence.

"Everett." He chirped, flashing her a perfect grin.

"He's our roommate and is filling in for James while he's out of town for work." I jumped in to offer a quick explanation, hoping to diffuse the palpable awkwardness in the room.

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