Page 13 of Touch Me

I grip the keys with more force than necessary to keep from grinding my teeth. Plastering a fake smile on my face, I nod. “Great, I’m just going to find the store and pick up a few things then.”

She claps and grabs her purse. “Oh, I’ll come with you.”

I narrow my eyes at her, faking another sweet smile. “Actually, I think I better go alone this time. Find my way around, ya know?”

She juts out her bottom lip, pouting like a toddler. “Cass, don’t be that way.”

“I’m not being any way. I have a lot to do this week, and you obviously don’t want me around, so...” I brush past her.

Immature?Probably.Warranted?Hell yes.

“Cassie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine, really. See ya ‘round.” I cut her off as I enter the elevator. The doors close, and I sag against the back wall, my heart heavy and defeated.Well, this is just great. Jace doesn’t want me around, Jess doesn’t want me around. Am I just supposed to act like that isn’t hurtful? We’ve been best friends forever. How could she just dump me off with her brother, who very clearly still hates me, and expect me not to react?

I wonder if Hannah will still let me stay with her?

No.

I can do this. It’s only for a few months. This isn’t even close to the hardest thing I’ve been through. If I can survive my childhoodmostlyunscathed, I can survive a few awkward months with Jace. I might even be stronger for it.

Yes, that’s it. Think of it as just another obstacle in the race to the finish line. Now, where in the hell is the grocery store?

FIVE

I’M USED TO EATING OUT

How long isstandard practice before filing a missing person’s report? Is there a time frame or...? Cassie has been gone for hours, and she didn’t take the card to get back into the building.

What if she’s lost?

No, she has a phone with GPS, right? She probably just doesn’t want to come back after seeing Jess and me arguing in the hallway. I don’t know if she actually heard anything, but it was obvious what was happening. It’s not that I don’t like her. It’s the opposite, in fact. She walks in here all gorgeous and smelling good and shit.

What was that? Pineapple and pure fucking sunshine? Jesus.

She upsets the delicate balance I’ve created for myself. I have a routine and I like my life the way it is. It’s easy for me to avoid temptation when I don’t have to see anyone attractive if I’m not mentally prepared for it. I know the torture that accompanies it and I won’t do that to myself again.

Ever.

Anxiety has wormed its way into every cell of my body and manifests itself in twitching and fidgeting. I can’t sit still, and my already chaotic brain can’t focus. My dick has been at half-mast all day, and she isn’t even here.

Why did I say yes?

I need to work out—burn off some of this pent-up tension. It's the only thing that's proven useful in quieting my mind and body. I figured that out in high school and never looked back. I had to do it secretly, though, so my dad wouldn’t think I was athletically inclined and sign me up for sports.

I'm halfway to my room to change into workout clothes when the buzzer rings. Rather than speaking into the intercom, I hit the button to buzz her in, then jog to my room, wanting to avoid her. I quickly change and grab my phone, heading for the stairs. A rustling sound in the kitchen catches my attention. She must’ve gone out for groceries. I chance a peek before heading up to the gym.Bad idea.She’s bent over in those damn yoga pants putting food away in the bottom of the fridge.

Fuck me.

I silently grumble to myself and take the stairs two at a time. Once in the gym, I set my workout playlist and start a warmup on the treadmill. I usually listen to alternative music when I exercise. Honestly, anything that screams louder than my own brain is a solid choice. I need to work on my playlist. I have a feeling the gym is going to be my new home.

How am I going to survive months with her here?

I set a grueling pace on the treadmill, trying to calm my brain. My legs and heart pump fast, sweat starts to bead, and my eyes are straight ahead on the mirror. My form has definitely improved. I was always clumsy as a child. Tripping over my own feet was a common occurrence. Sports were out of the question. I played baseball one year in middle school to appease my father. Not only was I horrible at hand-eye coordination, but I also sucked at communicating with teammates.

I didn’t care about winning, didn’t care about team morale. I didn’t care about a ball or a bat or any of it. I liked math and books. That hasn’t changed. But my athleticism, if you could call it that, definitely has. I work out constantly, can run without tripping and cracking my skull open, and I surf whenever I can. Not bad for a clumsy kid.

My body has changed as well. Not that anyone is looking. I guess I wouldn’t care if they are. I don’t do it for attention. I got plenty of attention in high school.Unwantedattention. Sure, I could look at a girl and think she was pretty, but that’s as far as I allowed those thoughts to go. I made the mistake of trying to act on impulse in college, at the insistence of my college roommate, and that ended in disaster. Never again will I put myself or any unsuspecting female in that position again.

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