Page 94 of Wasted Oil

I turn facing the group once I’ve placed the kettle on the stove and squash this argument so we can get to relaxing and calling it a night.

“Alex, you're rooming with me. X, you can have the couch or the air mattress is in the hall closet. You can air it up and put it on the opposite end of the bed Sailor’s on.” I deadpan them all with no more talk and head to go change.

"Ok, corazón, I haven’t been the best best friend ever and I apologize. The only excuses I have are the band and this rally.” I sit with my back against my headboard talking to Alex.

“What is going on? What happened to everything? Last I heard you said you were going to Albuquerque, but then you went back home?” Alex doesn’t answer right away she twirls her spoon in her cup of tea making clanking sounds echo in my bedroom. I push harder.

“Talk to me, Goose?” She takes a drink of her tea then takes a deep inhale with worry lines forming on her forehead. I’ve clearly missed way more than I thought. Crossing my legs, I sit a little straighter with both my hands cradling my own cup of chamomile honey tea.

“Long story short, we are doing long distance right now.” She bites the inside of her cheek. I know she’s holding back. It’s not like her to hold back. She’s Alex Daniels for christ sakes.

“I’m not sure if it’s me, us, or something else— or all the above. Which saying it out-loud makes it obvious,” She continues. I stay silent sipping on my tea to let her air out everything.

“I love Johnny, I really do but—” I see the strain in her eyes. “—I’m not sure if I’m still in love with him.”

I know she’s not. Ok, maybe once upon a time she was and I believe it but that was brief like how the relationship between the two should have been. Brief.

My mind lingers to the thought of Rhett. We were brief. A kind of brief I wish I could go back and relive instantly so I could be in his arms and his lips on mine.

I’m pulled back to the present by Alex’s voice. “A huge part of why it didn’t work was that living with his mom was a nightmare. She always found a way to belittle me to make it seem like it was a privilege to be staying with them while not paying rent and or for groceries.” I can feel my RBF taking place.

"It’s only six hours from home to Albuquerque so we can see each other on weekends or every other and on holidays. We can make it work!”

I’m not sure if she’s asking or saying, but it feels along the lines of convincing herself. I can’t judge my best friend though. She’s stood by my side through so much shit, and this past year was my messiest. She was just there when I needed her and only piped up when it was her cue. She was good about reading the room.

It’s not that time for me to reciprocate for her, at least not yet. I almost want to ask about Rhett or the Parkers in general. I decide not to because the longer I talk or think about him I fall right back into my process of acceptance that we are done. I asked my manager Layla to send a bundle of tickets to the Parker farm.

Lord knows that farm is the sole reason for my hit songs.

I wake up to the smell of coffee and bacon making my mouth water. In the kitchen is my brother at the stove, Alex pouring coffee and Sailor at the island with her laptop open.

“Morning,” I say walking towards the creamy caffeine being frothed. A domino of good mornings sound off with the sizzling sound of bacon, in one pan and breakfast sausage in the other.

"Biscuits and Gravy will be ready in ten.” He says over his shoulder.

I settle for tea hoping it will help calm my nerves that have started making me all jittery. The last thing I need is the jitters to be kicked into gear with espresso.

I glance at my phone and tap the screen to see if any notifications are there. All that’s there is a message from Layla wishing everyone in the band a good morning and showered love and an inspirational quote about seizing your moment.

What is this CoCo?

A small smile pulls at the corner of my mouth but suddenly it’s gone.

I wish he was here. I wonder if he’s actually listened to the words in my songs. He probably hasn’t even cared to listen to them, now that I come to think of it. Don’t. None of that today. It’s your day, own it. I blink away the doubt but really I wouldn’t have this day without him.

Breakfast was served then dishes were cleaned in the span of thirty minutes. There was brief talk while eating. My brother is conversing with Sailor on future projects they could work on together for when he gets the company back on track. I stayed silent most of the time trying to get my mindset where it’s needed, running over lines of our set songs but again every time I run through the song in my head all I see is him.

Before getting up to go get ready, Alex put her hand over mine giving me a knowing smile. She knows I’m in my head but she doesn’t pry and gives me a hug. I step into my walk-in closet and go to sit on the bench that's centered in the room and take in the moment of silence I’ll probably only get right now for the rest of the day.

To my right is the black dress bag holding the ultimate find of the most perfect outfit I found a month ago.

Can always count on driving with your thoughts and a couple hours later stumbling upon a boutique all the way in Cookeville, Tennessee just as they were closing up. I Couldn’t tell you what pulled me to that exact store, I guess I should say Shack since it’s a small business built entirely out of a travel cattle trailer. On the outside it’s a pearl white shade with a huge logo sign with the border of light blue shaped like a western sign where Edison bulbs are in the borderline with pink words spelling out Style Shack.

Walking around the corner I popped my head through the entrance of the back of the trailer asking if they had time for one more customer and to my surprise I was recognized.

“Oh my god. Your Melanie Alvarez, lead singer of The Druthers!” The blonde gal stands up straight from securing a clothes rack in the back corner with her jaw slightly open.

The brunette next to her pauses then snaps instantly into sales mode.

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