Page 82 of Wasted Oil

Rhett

Rumbling thunder drifts through the sky.

Today has been heavy.

Andres Alvarez is gone. Now I’ll never get the answers I’ve been searching for.

The weight of everything is becoming all too much and I want out. I’m barely breathing as if I’m treading water and slowly the water is pulling me under. Despite me and my family’s feelings towards the Alvarez name, mainly the owner on his own, we have all shown up for Melanie and her brother. They not only lost a father but they also lost their mother.

I held onto my moms hand throughout the entire ceremony. I thought I lost myself when my dad died but the thought of my mom being gone is too much to comprehend.

I stood behind Melanie, Alex on her left, Xavier on her right, and Johnny on my other side. She was a statue through her fathers obituary being read but the moment the pastor started reading her mothers I saw her breakdown. Her shoulders started to shake and I could faintly hear her cries.

I wanted to step up and wrap her in my arms but before I could process movement she leaned into her brother's arms.

After the funeral, Melanie said she didn’t want a gathering so everyone said their goodbyes and prayers to her and her brother. I wasn’t ready to leave her side so I reached for her hand and told her I’d like to drive her home. She didn’t argue, just held on tighter.

I should've dropped her off, walked her to the door and left. Instead I walked up the staircase and entered her room.

I roam around looking at what looks like what was the room she grew up in. Never touched after she left. I stop in front of her vanity seeing a picture frame of us dressed for prom. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath remembering that night in a flash.

The air here is thick.

I want to talk about what happened that night in the barn.

But she's made it perfectly clear that talking is the last thing she wants.

And me.

I turn around and see Mel hasn’t moved from the spot when she entered. She’s standing in the middle of her room, arms hugging her waist with a blank stare off to the side.

I step to her wrapping my arms around her neck burring my nose into her hair. She untangles her arms and wraps them around my torso.

“Tell me what I can do,” I mutter.

Mel lifts her head looking up at me. The pain in her eyes almost matched mine. I wish I could say I know how she’s feeling but I only know half.

She skates her arms back around and mine slowly falls along her back.

Her hands now snaking up my chest. The feel of my heartbeat kicks into overdrive. Her fingers fan out over my black pearl snapped button up dress shirt.

She looks to where her hand is then back up to my gaze. When she opens her mouth I thought she was about to speak but her hand shoots up to my neck pulling me to her crashing our lips together. She clings to me like she’s gasping for air and I’m the oxygen tank.

For a moment I kiss back.

I always want to kiss her back. But this isn’t right. She's not in the right state of mind and there’s too much of a mess between us to just brush it under the rug and act like none of it happened.

I became vile. Then I forgot, because I wasn’t pretending, I was falling. But when I broke her, I broke myself too.

“No,” I whisper, pulling away from her lips but her hands try to claw at the nape of my neck bringing my lips back to hers.I grab her wrists and push us apart.

“Melanie, stop.” Our breathing becomes rapid, but I stay firm no matter how much I want to pick her up, lay her down and make her pain go away. No matter how much this is going to kill me. It’s what's best for us both.

I stare into her blue eyes that have gone dark like the deep sea.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

I release her and motion between us.

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