Page 75 of Wasted Oil

Resting my arm on the back of the bench I look at my mother with admiration giving her the smallest grin.

“I love you, Ma.”

She smiles back.

“I love you most, my sweet boy.”

She heads back inside and I feel a sign of relief clearing my mind's thoughts shifting looking at a brighter path like the sun that's starting to peek through the clouds and the rain that has passed. I can't help but smile and laugh under my breath, because although I’m angry and pissed, my mom is right.

I stand up looking over the porch at our farm and nod my head like I’ve already made up my mind.

“Well, alright then.” Pounding my fist on the wooden structure that holds the roof over our porch, I decided to follow the one thing I was so stupid to ignore in the first place.

My heart.

Chapter twenty-one

Chasing the sun with broken wings—

Melanie

I'm so lost in my head that the Tennessee: The Volunteer State Welcomes You sign passes in a blur, the sun barely peeking over the southern mountains.

I ran.

I did what I do best and I ran.

My heart is hurting. Few words come to mind when moments flash through my mind of last night. The hate and motion that filtered between both of us. The way that it all went down. It all hurts so much, it feels as if I got ran over by a truck.

The taste of tequila slowly making its way back into my throat begging to be released. My stomach turns as the events of last night replay in my mind. Quickly pulling over on the deserted highway, I rip open the door and empty all the contents in my stomach.

Why does it hurt so much?

Why can't this pain just go away?

Because you love him. Love? How can I love him after that? How can you stop? I can't take the noise anymore, making sure that I no longer have to puke, I readjust in my seat, crank the music, this time settling on my Yoste playlist and continue my travels.

My phone vibrates on the table near me but the strength to reach for it is nonexistent. It's been a week and a half since I came back to Tennessee. I haven't moved from my spot on the couch. David tried to come and make me feel better but I have been a zombie crying all the time, only getting up if I need to use the bathroom.

Finally giving in, I swipe my hand on the table and check my phone. I have: ten missed calls from my mother, five from my brother, and six texts: three from the group chat with the band and three from Alex. I first sent out a text to my mother and brother telling them that I'm still alive. Next, I checked the group chat:

Polly Anna: Mel, we’re worried about you. We are going to a 4th of July barbecue at Laylas… you should come with?

Bam Bam: Yeah, we miss our little Melody *Crying face emoji*

Melody?

Big D: Please sugar— I can't go without you by my side.

I throw my phone back onto the coffee table that's cluttered with takeout planting my face into the couch cushion, I need to talk to someone and the only person that I want to actually hear from is Alex. Grabbing my phone again I ramble off a text.

Me: You busy?

Three little gray dots appear then disappear, then my phone screen changes to us with clay masks that I’ve put for her contact photo. I hit join and Alex's face appears.

“Heyyy.. Oh my lanta, Mel sweetie, you look like shit.”

“Wow, thanks I miss you too.” I give her a deadpan face, but she’s right.

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