I don’t even care about that though. He knew exactly who I was and it’s all starting to make sense.
I haven’t met any of the owners yet. But Hannah’s Kandi’s best friend. She had to know who her best friend’s father was. Especially if all that stuff about him is correct.
“Is it her father?” I ask and keep glancing back at her for some clue that she knows something.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I don’t think so. No. Kandi came from a foster home.” Hannah’s eyes go wide as she slowly faces me. “Don’t tell her I told you that! She doesn’t like people to know.”
“Hannah, I’m not stupid. Peter Davenport is her dad. Right?” She doesn’t answer. “Did he give her up? Does she have a scholarship? How else did she get into Drexton? I’m right, aren’t I?”
Hannah looks as confused as I feel. We both know the only way into Drexton Hall is a sports scholarship or a shit ton of money. Kandi has made it clear she doesn’t have either of those.
She’s been lying this entire time about everything. She said she had some sort of scholarship. She said she’s never been to San Jose. It was all bullshit.
“I don’t know.” The wheels are turning in Hannah’s head and putting the pieces together. “I always assumed she didn’t know her dad.”
“Is that why she won’t let me in? Does she think I’m going to leave her like he did?” I ask the question, but I know that has to be part of it. That has to be the reason.
“I don’t know.” She sighs and throws her head back as we pull into her driveway. “She’s going to kill me, but I know she likes you. She couldn’t stop talking about you the entire night and kept looking over at you. I’ve never heard Kandi talk about a guy that much. She’s never let a guy stay around long enough to get feelings for them. Or for them to have feelings for her. She looked… scared.”
“I’m in love with her,” I admit to Hannah. “Always have been.”
It doesn’t matter how much she’s lied to me, I turn my feelings for her off.
“Give her space.” Hannah rubs my shoulder. “Kandi doesn’t like to feel crowded or anyone being overbearing. She’s always pushed against that.”
I let out a long deep breath and set my head against the steering wheel.
“Are you sure you’re ok? I have to go check on Harlyn, but my parents won’t mind if you came in for a bit.” Hannah’s parents love me. I’d come to see Holt and hang out with them the entire time instead.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I need some sleep.” I reassure her that I’m ok, and give her a giant squeeze before letting her go.
I love Hannah like she’s one of my sisters. After all the shit I went through last semester, I clung to Holt and her to stop myself from drinking. They helped me so much and I’d never forget that. I hate lying to her. I’m not ok, but I don’t think there’s anything she or anyone else can do to help me now.
Giving Kandi space is easier than I thought it’d be, especially since she’s completely avoiding me.
I’m miserable, and everything she said about never loving me and using me keeps playing over and over inside my head.
“I was using you, and we’ll never be more than that.”
The less I see her, the more I’m starting to believe it was all true.
Willa still hasn’t spoken to me either, and my roommate hasn’t been around much. My guess is that Alex found a girl. He’s happier, less mopey, and is out most nights, leaving me alone in our room to my own dangerous thoughts.
That's when the grief slips in and out. It’s easier to bring me down when I don’t have anything to distract me.
After my last class Friday, I head to my room to be alone. Most nights, when we didn’t have games, I’d go to Kandi’s.
I’d go there straight from class and stay until we were done then pass out with a foolish ignorant grin on my face.
The guys are all busy, still in class or doing other shit. Studying is useless. I don’t even care if I pass anymore.
I’m getting ready to sit in my room and try to take a nap. Sleep keeps my thoughts at bay when I can actually close my eyes. Dreams of what I used to have with Kandace help keep regrets about my brother out of my head.
I’ll sleep. Even if I have to take that herbal shit Callie gave me the other day. Something that’s supposed to help. She slipped it to me when I told the doctor she was assisting that I I was having trouble.
But as soon as I open my door, Kylie, Alex’s ex-girlfriend and cheating cunt is sitting on his bed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap at her, stopping dead in my tracks.