Page 63 of Be My Sinner

The man before me is a walking masterpiece of seduction, even when he’s not trying. An irrational impulse to yank that lip free surges within me, but I forcefully shake myself to get some clarity.He is the enemy, Dinah. Get your shit together already!

“We?” I question, unease crawling down my neck like a bunch of insects on their way south.

“Ezekiel, Abraham, and me, Nightstar. You will be ours. All three of us will keep you safe. We will… share you,” he says through tight teeth, anger, jealousy, and sorrow written across his face. I squeeze my eyes shut at his words, trying to get my breathing under control. I feel like an elastic band being pulled and stretched harshly. I can feel myself ready to snap. When I do, will I be able to control myself, or will I kill everyone around me in a fit of uncontrollable rage?

I push away from Sammy and get to my feet, putting much-needed distance between myself and both these idiots, with their male toxicity. “So the three of you have decided my fate. I’ll be shared between you like an obedient dog at her master’s beck and call, is that it? A whore to be used when you feel like it. Regardless if that is not the fate I want for myself.”

“Nightstar...” Any further words Sammy is about to utter get swallowed by the look of menace I give him.

“You are a Sacred Daughter, Dinah. Your fate was always to become my wife.” Zeke’s nostrils flare with a look of disappointment at my reaction. He takes a further step towards me, but halts when he sees the rage I’m not trying to hide across my features.

“I am a human being! Not cattle to be bartered, nor a dog to be trained to come when her master calls. I am a woman. I was not born for you to own me. I was not put on this planet to fill your fucking needs, Ezekiel, or that of your sick order.” I can’t breathe, my lungs constrict, and I feel lightheaded.

How could they do this to me? How could Sammy have agreed to make me the one thing I have always fought against. A prisoner. A slave to the men of the Brotherhood. A possession.

“Nightstar!”

“Noooo…” An inferno rises within me, setting fire to all my thoughts and emotions. “You…have… betrayed me…Sam…my.” The words leave my clenched teeth, as the desire to kill everyone in this room tries to overtake me.

Betrayers, liars, and thieves. Men.All these words circle round and round until only one thought remains.Death. I will murder them all for thinking that they can get away with doing this to me.

“You should know there’s more, Snow.” Ezekiel watches me from across the room. A mix of disdain, anger, and maybe even pity, now written across his features as he looks between Sammy and me.

“The Order requires the Ritual of Marriage to be performed, with no exceptions, the night of a marriage, which for us is tonight. You may not believe me, but I am sorry for this. This one is out of my control. I cannot spare you this. It has to be done, or the marriage won’t be blessed and recognized, and you will be considered a fallen woman.” Zeke’s mouth snaps shut, and I feel my anger ready to explode. I don’t even know what the hell he’s talking about, but whatever it is, I want no part in it.

“Why…the fuck…would…they consider… me a fallen…woman, Ezekiel?” I demand, my breath laboring in my chest and sweat starting to trail down the side of my neck, with the effort it’s taking not to lash out in violence at both of them. My mind is busy already plotting how I will punish both of the men in this room. How they’ll scream for sweet, agonizing mercy before I’m done.

I am not a pawn to be played with. They’ve forgotten that I am the queen on the board, and they are a mere knight and a bishop, both easily overtaken and discarded.

“My father suspects that you have been defiled by Sammy. That you’re no longer pure. To stop him from putting you through a humiliating inspection, one that would have led to both of your deaths, I told him what I did to you in this room so that I could confirm you were a virgin.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER!” Sammy roars, rising from the floor suddenly and grabbing a fistful of Zeke’s black dress shirt.

“He fingerfucked me…on the floor…like an animal. I came like a dirty whore for him. I guess you should get used to it since this is what you want.”

I throw my words like blades at Sammy, wanting to hurt him like he’s hurting me with the agreement to share me. To give me away to the Brotherhood after knowing how much I loathed that fate. How I would have rather died than become a Sacred Wife.

The crack of Sammy’s fist is so loud in the tense and silent room that it makes me take a further step away from both of them, and chance a glance towards the door. Could I make it out of this room if they started fighting? Would I manage to get out of this house before one of the guards or Noah stopped me?

“You fucking piece of shit! I’ll fucking kill you!” Sammy yells as he slams his fist again in Zeke’s already battered face.

“FUCK YOU! I’m protecting her, you fucking idiot! They would have killed her if they could prove she was impure.” He shoves Sammy back hard. “They would have killed you for defiling her!”

“So you made me cum, to what, protect me? Is that what you’re claiming?” I inquire with disbelief.

“No…fuck. No, I did that for me…and you. I wanted you to fucking enjoy it. I fingered you because I needed to be certain you weren’t pure. The orgasm was my way of apologizing and making the experience bearable.” He sighs, wiping the blood from his mouth with his thumb as he moves his jaw around.

“Here’s a thought, asshole! You could have just asked me if I was a virgin!” I throw up my hands in exasperation and disdain at their combined stupid asses.It seems these two alpha assholes don’t have a brain cell to rub between them.

“I couldn’t be sure you would tell me the truth, and I couldn’t risk it; your life’s on the line… And also, you are fucking mine, so I can do as I fucking please. I am the only one helping you here; without me, you would both be dead.” Zeke digs the palms of both his hands into his eyes.

He looks exhausted standing there. His face is battered and bruised. Dark shadows make their homes below his eyes, giving him a haggard appearance.How long has it been since he slept? Why do I even fucking care? I’m not fucking his, I’m not anyone’s.

I force myself to take a deep breath and push down all the anger surging through me, and the demands my body and heart are making on my mind to bludgeon them.

Zeke’s words cause me to question what I know about him. He has never been so self-sacrificing.He isn’t now, either. He has just found a way to spin this where he comes off as the hero, saving poor wretched Dinah and her lover from death. He’s full of shit; he knows it, I know it, and Sammy should have realized it before agreeing to this mess.

Ezekiel Rothesay will only help us for as long as it benefits him and Abraham. I will be discarded the minute it doesn’t, and Sammy will die. Is he doing this as a means to get back at his father, or is this about control?

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