Page 37 of Faking it with the Green Beret

At least she picked up on that. John gave an affirmative nod but kept his mouth shut.

“I missed him, but now I’m thinking I missed who I was before him even more.” She gave them a weak smile. “Thank you both for coming. I’ll see you back at The Oasis.”

John opened Ariana’s car door for her, then escorted Elizabeth to his truck.

“I was hoping that she’d get the closure she mentioned, but at least she’s not going home or anywhere with him tonight.” John still watched to be sure she turned toward The Oasis.

“Agreed.” Elizabeth sank into the seat. “I appreciate you giving up your time to come out.”

“It is what I signed on for.” He didn’t mind playing protective big brother to Ariana, especially since he’d never had that kind of relationship with his half-sisters. “My only plans were to eat a sandwich and hang out with Boss. It might not have gone like we hoped, but it was still a treat.”

Despite the fact that Elizabeth had been quick and adamant this wasn’t a date, he’d do dinner with her any time. She was easy to be with, but she was a different person when she dropped her guard. That fun side, her laugh, her smile . . . She deserved to be like that all the time.

What she’d shared of her not-so-picture-perfect past could explain her reserve. However, she’d sure been quick and smooth about segueing to a new subject after he asked if she’d been married.

He couldn’t blame her for not wanting to delve into painful memories. He still couldn’t believe how much he’d run his mouth to her earlier about things he rarely talked about. Like his mother. What kid didn’t need to feel wanted? While he tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, the hollowed out feeling lingered in his gut. In his chest too.

It’s not like he’d told Elizabeth everything. How he’d never been invited for a holiday with his mother’s family or to his half siblings’ birthday parties. Or how his mom sent a check, but she hadn’t come to his high school graduation. Or his boot camp graduation.

Before he graduated with honors from college, he’d called to invite her and the family to the ceremony. After a few attempts to reach her, he left a message. Good old mom texted back—texted—that her daughter—not his sister—was also graduating that weekend and they had family coming in, so they couldn’t make it. And she didn’t invite him. Instead, she sent a card and another check—which he never cashed.

Rising to the rank of major might earn his mother’s respect. It’d probably take more like full-bird colonel. His promotion was a big step in that direction. He hadn’t told her yet. It wasn’t like they talked.

He was balanced and well-adjusted—all things considered. But he did want more in his life than work. He wanted to share his life with someone special. Someone who’d say their life was better because he was in it. Why couldn’t he find it? Some professional insight could be beneficial.

The truck’s stereo filled the silence. They were halfway back to The Oasis. If he was going to ask her input, now was the time.

“You know what you were saying earlier, about talking with a friend who happened to be a counselor and trained to help people figure out their problems?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth shifted in her seat.

“And you asked about any goals I haven’t accomplished? I thought I’d be married and have a family by now.”

“And that’s something you want?”

“Of course.” Someone there to welcome him home from a long day or deployment. Someone who wouldn’t walk away—or lethimwalk away. Boss gave him a taste of that kind of unconditional love he ached for, but it wasn’t enough.

“Why do you think you haven’t settled down?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

She laughed lightly. “I’m a counselor not a dating guru. I help my clients identify unhealthy patterns of behavior to break or change them.”

“How do you do that?”

“You want my perspective. As a friend?”

“Yeah. Because what I’ve been doing clearly isn’t working. And don’t they say doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity? I could use some sage advice.”

“Okay. Approximately how many romantic relationships have you had?”

Oh, crap. “What’s your definition of a relationship?” he hedged.

“How about we say since high school, at least four dates, and you were exclusive for over a month.”

Whew. That ruled out a lot of non-starters and other things he’d rather not disclose to Elizabeth. “Maybe six or seven.”

“That’s pretty normal. Everyone has to learn what they do and don’t want in a relationship.” She gave a disgruntled sounding half chuckle and gave a slight shake of her head that seemed directed at herself rather than him. “You don’t want to settle. How long did those relationships typically last?” She shifted her focus back to him with an overly bright smile that made him wonder what had gone through her mind.

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