Page 38 of Faking it with the Green Beret

He thought back over the relationships for a minute. “Average? Around three or four months.”

“Thinking back on even the short-term relationships, do you see any commonalities on why they didn’t go anywhere or ended? Sorry, that came out in counselor speak. I can’t help it.”

“No worries. It’s like me going into military mode.” For the next few minutes, he gave her a rundown of his past relationships which ended for various reasons. She asked pointed questions without sounding judgmental. Still, reliving his failures was about as fun as running out of ammo in a firefight.

“Is any of this helping?”

“Somewhat.” Elizabeth’s mouth shifted. “Not everyone is a match, even if you do want the same things. It sounds like you weren’t compatible with any of those women. Why do you think Britney cheated?”

“She used me to get back at her cheating ex but didn’t think I wasn’t good enough for her or her family.” It slipped out, and he began to see a pattern. They wanted someone with a similar, affluent background. “You think I have mommy issues?”

“The mother-child relationship is a key factor in our development, though it sounds like your dad was very involved in your upbringing, as were your grandparents. And I’m in counselor mode again. Sorry. I can usually do better at turning it off, but you said ‘mommy issues’ and . . .”

“It’s my fault,” he laughed. He’d been kind of joking when he said it. “But . . .?”

“Not everything stems from parenting issues. There’s no handbook and most people do the best they can by their kids, but her not being around could affect your ability to make emotional connections.”

Dayam. Was she right?

“Look, you’re educated, employed, compassionate, fun, nice-looking, good to animals. All admirable and appealing qualities. But you could still harbor feelings of inadequacy. And it’s possible that in your personal life you walk away from conflict rather than try to work things out or fight for what you want to protect yourself from rejection. Nobody likes being rejected.”

“True. So, what do I do about that?” He felt as naked as a newborn.

“You can’t change the past, but you can do things differently going forward.”

“For instance . . .”

“How do you meet the women you date? Dating sites, social groups, bars, friends?”

“Different ways.” John shifted in the leather seat. “Britney was at a bar called Jumpy’s. You ever been there?”

“No.”

Didn’t think so. “It’s popular with the Spec Ops community. Where do you meet the men you date?” He turned the tables on her.

“I don’t.”

“You don’t . . . date men? You and the police officer . . .?” That could explain some things.

“No. I’m straight,” she clarified patiently. “She and I are friends. I don’t date.”

“You don’t date. At all?”

“Not anymore.”

Dang, that was disappointing. “Why?”

She hesitated. “I . . . like my independence.”

“But don’t you want someone in your life. And to have kids?”

She sighed and her hand went to the silver charm on her necklace. “I thought we were talking aboutyouandyourdating life.”

“Sorry. You just surprised me.”

“Back to Britney,” she redirected him. “Is that a typical start to your romantic relationships?”

“Not always.” How lame was that? “I’ve done online dating and exchanged messages before meeting to hang out. You know a lot of those people lie? Use old pictures, fake names.”

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