Page 23 of Claiming Kenna

AnentiredaylaterI had pulled up outside my childhood home. It had been hard to get a flight because of the holiday season but after pacing the airport for hours and turning my phone off to ignore Cullens incoming calls I was let on to a flight that had had a cancellation. I had lost the butt plug in a toilet rubbish bin the first chance I got as well. Feeling heart broken and sad with that stimulating me down bottom was the most horrible sensation I have ever experienced. I stood on the tattered side walk with my luggage and stared at the small town house that had peeling white paint, rotting front door steps and overgrown grass. This place held little happy memories for me but even in times of need I just wanted to be close to my mum. I walked up the front steps and knocked on the faded door. My stomach felt like it was in my throat. The door creaked open and an older lady, with grey hair tied up into a messy bun, in her mid forties opened the door.

“Hi mum,” I whispered and then burst into tears.

“Oh darling,” mum soothed me and pulled me into a tight hug.

“What happened?” She asked. I winced at the thought of the last 24 hours and leaving Cullen.

“I met a man and got my heart broken. You know how it goes,” I tried to pass off casually but my trembling spoke volumes.

“Come inside out of the cold,”

“Mum this isn’t cold compared to where I have come from,” I grumbled but followed her in and shut the door behind me.

“Where is the bro?” I asked, meaning my step brother.

“He is away till after Christmas with his friends.” She replied.

“So just us for Christmas this year then?”

“Looks like it. I was going to try see your dad this week if you want to come?”

“Yeah that could be nice,” I admitted nodding my head.

Mum said nothing more on the subject of Cullen. She was good like that. She knows I will talk if and when I want, otherwise she gives me space. We spent the next week binge watching Walking Dead and she managed to book a visit with dad so on day seven we woke up early and headed to the penitentiary. We got stopped at the main gates and dogs came around the long line of cars sniffing and searching. I hoped this visit wouldn’t take long. I was doing this for mum rather than myself. Dad will always be my dad but that is as far as it went. He wasn’t a nice man and never held any remorse for what he had done. We finally got through the stop, we found a parking space and made our way to the entrance. It was so busy today with families trying to see their loved ones for Christmas.

Mum and I both signed the visitor forms and then we got let through to a circular white plastic table where we were made to sit and wait. People all around us were waiting. A large horn like sound echoed through the visitors room and most heads swiveled towards the door. The barred door slid open and security guards escorted inmates into the room in single file. Dad was the fifth one in line and his head was roaming the room until it landed on our table and then his face turned into a wide grin. My heart sped up and my mum beside me lit up like a high school girl with a crush. He sat down opposite us unable to touch. I looked over his face. He had severely wrinkled skin, dark grey long hair and a heavy beard to match and a lot of random prison ink covering most of his skin now.

“Hi kiddo,”

“Hi dad.”

Two hours passed quickly. And although it was nice to see mum happy, seeing dad just reminded me what I had run away from. The fights and gang life he was affiliated with are the criminals I will be trying to put away in jail when I am fully qualified and I held no guilt or regret over this. Mum and I hurried out of there when we were told to leave, mum feeling sullen and I left thinking about how I would rather be alone than with someone like dad. Then the pain consumed me all over again because I was alone.

The next day, I got up, showered, put my PJ's back on and sat on the couch watching the Walking Dead. Mum would nudge me with food and drinks every so often but I felt dead inside. I missed Cullen so much. It made me realize that before Cullen I was merely existing, working, studying, struggling, and zero socialising. Then I met him and I truly felt happy. I was full of regret for not only leaving Cullen but not finishing out my school semester. I would ring the school after Christmas and see what my final marks were and make up a family emergency that I had to get to. I am hoping I had enough marks to pass the entire year even though I missed the presentation. But then it left the big problem that I will have to face Cullen next year. Could I handle seeing his face every day knowing he was no longer mine? It was something that hung heavy in my mind and on my heart.

Christmas Eve rolled around quicker than I had hoped. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling in my old bedroom contemplating getting a ham still from the supermarket. My mum deserved a hot ham for Christmas. I would make it today’s mission and it will work as a nice distraction. I glanced around my room at the faded girl crush posters on my walls and faded pink curtains. My single bed creaked and groaned with every movement. Mum hadn’t done any house renovations since I was little. I sighed and rolled out of bed cementing today's’ plans. My mum really deserved a lot more than a ham but a ham is what I can do for now.

I showered and dressed in black tights, boots and a thick cream jumper. When I stepped out into the small yellow kitchen mum looked me up and down.

“You are obviously feeling better?” She asked, looking hopeful.

“Debatable. I have some errands to run today though so thought PJ's may not be a good idea,” I replied.

“Ok hun, take my car,” she said and chucked me the old keys. I caught them and smiled.

“Still got the little Corolla then?” I teased.

“Girl, it still runs like a dream. It will keep going till I am dead,” she insisted and laughed.

“If you say so.” I rolled my eyes and left.

AfewhourslaterI was loading food bags on top of mum's kitchen bench when the doorbell rang.

“Mum, someone is here for you,” I yelled across the house.

“Coming!” She said and walked past me. I started putting the fresh cream away in the small fridge when she came into the kitchen.

“Ah Kenna someone is here to see you, do you want me to tell them to fuck off?” She asked.

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