Page 46 of The Rancher's Secret Son

As soon as he arrived home, he got out his cell phone to catch up on all the calls he had missed and pour himself into work. He tried to get back into his regular routine, but he couldn’t keep his mind on work and he finally shoved it aside to think about how they would share Cody. DC wouldn’t come up for several years, but he would be in Austin most of the time from January until June, when his term was over. He thought about Claire’s family and the care she continued to give them, plus the company she ran now with three offices in the Houston area. He sat thinking about her ties and his own, comparing them, and in minutes he was lost, remembering this past week on the ranch and the fun they’d had, the joy he’d felt watching Cody.

Maybe it was just because he had told Claire and Cody goodbye this morning that he was unhappy and missed them so much.

He thought Monday would be better, when he was back at work and busy.

But as he dressed for work the next morning, he was lost again in memories of Claire. Nick missed her. He walked to his bedroom to stare at his bed and remembered Claire in his arms. How right and good it had felt. He couldn’t fathom not making love to her again. He missed her each time he had said goodbye to her, but the past two times, before she came to the ranch, he knew he would be with her again within days. Now he faced a future in which he would just see her briefly as he picked up Cody or took him home. And maybe not even then. He might just see her grandmother or the nanny.

What were his feelings for her now?

Life had been great on the ranch with Claire and Cody there. Now he felt empty without her, hopeless, hurt beyond words. He’d tried to guard his heart against falling for Claire, even telling himself it was impossible to fall in love with her a second time. He’d let himself have fun with her, allowed himself to bed her, thinking his heart had been secure.

But he’d been wrong.

To hurt this badly over her goodbye, he realized, he had to be in love with her. And he might be losing the best possible life and the best possible woman for reasons that wouldn’t ever bring him real happiness.

He was in love, and he’d better do something about it.

He pulled out his phone to call her, but when he heard a recorded message he put away his phone. “Claire.” He whispered her name, wanting her, missing her and wishing he could conjure her up before him. He didn’t want to lose her this time. But how could they work out getting together now when they couldn’t do it four years ago?

Would Claire yield on any part of her life to try to be together, or did she even care? What could he change to make her happy? There had to be a way to work things out, but this time he’d better be certain about what he really wanted in life and what he could give up.

Would a political career be worth losing her? Even if he wanted to be a rancher, the only way to get Claire in his life was to move to Houston.

Was there any way to move Claire and keep her happy about the move? He crossed to his desk to make a list of all the things in Houston that were important to her. He stared blankly at the paper, sorting through all kinds of possibilities. There had to be a way...

* * *

Monday, Claire called in to say she would be late to the office. She didn’t feel like concentrating on work. She missed Nick, and it surprised her how much. She missed his flirting and his companionship, and she missed the hours of passion. She loved him more than she had when she was younger. She had thought she was over the heartbreak when he came back into her life. Instead, she was more drawn to him than ever, while it was less likely they could ever get together as a couple. Yet she would have to see him because of their son.

She was going to have to discuss sharing Cody, but she’d told Nick to get a plan. He was the one who wanted changes, so he could come up with something and she would have to try to work with him.

She could not leave Houston or her family obligations, which were now greater than ever. She would not abandon her grandparents or shut down the agency that meant so much to her grandfather and that they had both worked so hard to build.

One thing had changed, though—Nick’s parents. She had seen the looks on their faces when he had mentioned they would not see Cody when he was in Austin. If they didn’t see Cody when Nick was in Austin, they definitely would not if Nick lived in DC, and his parents were smart enough to realize that.

She never guessed his parents would care about Cody because they hadn’t even bothered to try to meet her when their son had hoped to marry her. It had been a shock to find out how badly they wanted a grandchild and how much they loved Cody from the first moment. When they asked if they could visit, she had agreed and meant it. That was a giant change—would it have any influence on Nick and his decisions?

Her thoughts turned to Nick again and the wonderful week with him on the ranch that had been paradise. She missed him and it had taken all her willpower not to answer his call moments ago. She loved him and she missed him. She couldn’t see any way to work out a future sharing Cody with him, but she had to.

She was alone in her room and she gave in to tears, for just a moment letting go and hurting, wondering how she would cope with seeing Nick only for minutes at a time. Or worse, watching him once again marry someone else.

It was going to hurt watching him take Cody for days at a time, but she would never deny him that right or hurt her son. He was good for Cody, a wonderful dad, and Cody already loved him. In a lot of ways she was thankful that Nick was in Cody’s life, filling a void that needed to be filled. Too bad he could never be part of her life.

She heard her phone and saw that it was Nick again. She didn’t take the call. She couldn’t talk to him yet. She didn’t want to burst into tears while they were on the phone. In minutes she received a brief text: Have a plan to discuss about Cody. Can you go to dinner next Thursday and we’ll talk about it? I can pick you up at 7. Would like to come at 6 so I can see Cody.

She typed her reply. She would go, wondering what Nick had in mind and if the evening would dissolve in sharp words the way it had so long ago, the night he had proposed.

Later that morning her grandmother left, taking Cody for a haircut and errands. As Claire nibbled at a late breakfast, the doorbell rang. She answered to find a deliveryman on her porch holding a giant arrangement of red roses, white orchids, red anthurium and white gladioli. A box wrapped in blue paper and tied with a big blue bow was delivered with the flowers.

As soon as she closed the door, she removed a card from the flowers that read: To Claire: Thank you for the joy you have brought us with our grandson. Love, Peter and Evelyn.

Startled, she looked at the flowers again. She would never know, but she wondered...if she had told Nick about her pregnancy, would things have worked out differently? It was a question that couldn’t be answered. Back then, even though it was only four years ago, Nick’s dad was still deeply intent on having his son move up in politics. It was obvious, now that Cody was here and the Milans were older, that that wasn’t what the judge wanted for his son. He wanted his grandson in his life and in Evelyn’s.

Claire removed a card from the box and saw it was to Cody from them. She smiled. Cody had four doting grandparents now. If only she and Nick—

Claire stopped instantly. She was not going to live on wishes. She would have to pick up and go on, work out something with Nick and try to live with it. She’d have to live with the hurt.

She was still telling herself that on Thursday as she dressed for the evening with Nick.

---