Page 45 of The Rancher's Secret Son

“I meant what I said. We’d love to have you, and you’re more than welcome to stay at my house. I have a big home and that would make Cody happy.”

“That is so sweet, Claire. We’ll take you up on the offer soon.”

As his mother headed toward the door, Claire looked beyond her to see Nick watching her with a solemn expression. As she closed the door behind his parents, Nick stepped close. “So, they get to visit and stay at your house and I don’t.”

“It isn’t quite the same, but you can stay. I may not be there, but Grandma will be happy to have you.”

“That isn’t quite the same, either,” he said. After a moment he shook his head. “Anyway, thanks for being so gracious to my parents.”

“They’re my son’s grandparents and I think he’s going to love them,” she said, turning to walk away. She let Cody stay up until ten, but then she put him to bed and rejoined the others.

By the time the last couple left it was almost midnight. As Nick watched them drive away, he draped his arm across her shoulders. “Everyone loved Cody and each one was happy to see you. It was a great night. Now, let’s go in. Finally I get to be alone with you,” he said, closing the door and heading to his suite. “Claire, you were wonderful tonight and so was Cody. Both of you charmed my family. My parents are shocking in their reaction to Cody, because I never expected them to be this way. You know, when I mentioned to them that when I live in Austin they won’t see Cody, they both looked unhappy.”

Surprised, she stared at Nick. “Your dad, too?”

“Even my dad,” he replied with a nod of his head. “The other thing is, I hadn’t really noticed age changing them until tonight. Dad is more mellow, less energetic, but he’s changed, and now with Cody I think they’re both changing more.”

Continuing to stare at Nick, she wondered how much their reactions would influence Nick. “Nick, if your dad is unhappy about you living in Austin when the legislature is in session, that’s a huge change.”

“You and Cody have turned my world, and maybe theirs, upside down. Upside down for the good,” Nick said, looking intently at her. Her heart missed a beat. Was there any chance of Nick changing his political ambitions? Had the time spent at the ranch with Cody caused him to look at his life differently? A bigger question loomed in her mind. Was there a chance of Nick falling in love?

Before she could pursue a response, Nick closed the door to his suite and turned to her. “Now, let’s forget family, the evening, everything except you and me. I’ve been waiting all day for this moment,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. Held in his crushing embrace, she forgot everything else except Nick as she returned his kisses.

Long after Nick had fallen asleep, she remained awake, thinking about this past week and their future. She was in love with Nick, and his thoughtfulness, his growing love for Cody, his lovemaking, everything between them was making that love stronger and she couldn’t deal with another hurt that would be bigger than when they had parted before he married.

She had to put distance between them or risk a giant hurt—a hurt that would involve Cody this time.

She needed to distance herself from Nick. Lust was not the same as love and there was no future in it.

Nick had his future mapped out, and it did not include marriage to her any more now than it had four years ago.

As difficult as it was going to be, she had to stop what was superficial and meaningless between them because she couldn’t be intimate with Nick without losing her heart, but he could easily be enveloped in lust and not have his heart involved.

Tears burned her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away and tried to get a grip on her emotions. She already loved him and she already hurt, but it could get worse and maybe she could save herself a bigger hurt. She should put an end to seeing him every time Cody did.

It was four in the morning when she pulled on a robe and faced Nick as she stood beside the bed. “I’m going to my room. You think about how we can work out sharing Cody. Your family will want to know him and you’ll want time with him. You come up with a plan and we’ll go from there.”

Nick pulled the sheet around his waist and got up, walking around the bed to place his hands on her shoulders. She stood looking up at him, trying to focus while she was aware of his bare, muscled chest, his broad shoulders, only the sheet low on his hips as they faced each other. She had to resist him, but it was growing more difficult by the day.

“I’ll do that. I’m not in a rush and I know it will take time to work things out. He’s too little to come see me without you unless I come get him.”

She shook her head. “I’m not coming to see you along with him, and I don’t think you’d want that either. You think about what you want. This can’t keep on. My emotions get caught up in intimacy, so in a way, this is goodbye between us. I’ll still see you with Cody and family around, but that’s all, Nick. Your life is set and so is mine and they don’t fit together. We have to stop before we both get hurt badly again.”

“What you’re saying makes sense, but I don’t want to say goodbye, Claire.”

“We don’t have a future—you and I—and I’m not going to continue to sleep with you occasionally when we’re together. I get my emotions entangled. This is a private goodbye to intimacy, to moments alone or dinners out or dates. We’ll just get hurt again otherwise.” She turned and walked away to go to her own room.

* * *

Sunday after Nick put them on the plane he waved as it taxied away. Claire and Cody were at the window and both waved. He hated to see them go, feeling as if part of his heart was being ripped away. It startled him how empty he felt with Claire and Cody gone. He had learned to live alone the past two years, but now life loomed like one big void and he wanted Claire with him. Her goodbye had hurt. The thought of her going out of his life again—except for brief moments—seemed unbearable. The realization startled him. How deep did his feelings for her run?

As he drove home, he thought about his parents and their plans to visit Claire in Houston. They’d never been interested in getting to know her before. He thought, too, about their unhappy looks when he mentioned living in Austin. For the first time, Nick wondered if his dad would rather he didn’t pursue a political career.

Claire’s question echoed in his mind. Had he pursued politics for himself or for his dad?

Nick watched the road and turned into the drive, stopping before going through the gates. He felt as if his life had been built on shifting sand and he wasn’t certain where he stood any longer. How deep were his feelings for Claire? Had he been consumed by lust or did he really want her as a part of his life outside his bedroom?

He didn’t know the answers. He only knew he’d better figure it out soon.

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