Page 99 of Brittle Heart

I’m still unsure if I’m doing it right, following his cues, but his low groan against my lips tells me he’s enjoying it. His hands wander from my upper body to under my thighs, effortlessly lifting and pulling me onto his lap to straddle him.

Startled by the sudden move, I pull back slightly, staring at him.

“Too much?” he asks, brushing my hair aside so he can see my face.

It’s not that it’s too much. I’m just amazed at how easily he managed that. I’m not exactly a lightweight. I shake my head and lean back in to kiss him again. He grins into the kiss before pulling me closer and deepening it once more.

Somehow, in the middle of kissing, we slide down the bed until he’s flat on his back, and I’m straddling his waist. My hands rest on his shoulders while his roam over my body, above my clothes. They squeeze my thighs before drifting upward to cradle my cheek.

Then, one of his hands slips down my body again and under my sweater, gliding over the side of my waist and brushing against my belly rolls. I freeze, causing him to stop and lean back to look up at me.

“Everything okay?” he asks, worry flickering in his eyes.

Internally, I’m in turmoil. I don’t know how to do this. I never did stuff with a guy before. I want to do everything with him, but what if he thinks I’m weird? What if I mess things up? What if he loses interest when he sees or feels what’s hidden beneath my clothes?How could he find someone like me attractive?

“I don’t know,” I whisper, my thoughts spiraling out of control.

His concerned gaze softens as he reaches out, gently pulling me onto him and nestling my head under his chin.

“Why don’t we cuddle while you figure it out?” he offers, rubbing my back soothingly.

His rhythmic strokes and gentle breathing calm my frantic thoughts, and we lie there quietly. There’s a peace in his strong arms I’ve never experienced before.

“My Carolina,” he murmurs, planting a soft kiss on top of my head.

I pull back to look at him, and he smiles. “You can call me Lina if you want,” I offer, but he just shakes his head.

“You know, I looked up your name because I thought it was so beautiful, and I wanted to know what it meant,” he says, reaching out to stroke my cheek. “Carolina, beautiful.” I blush, attempting to look away, but he gently lifts my chin with his forefinger, guiding my gaze back to his. “I’ll never call you anything else because your name already captures everything you are. Beautiful…” he plants a kiss on my nose, “… strong…” he pecks my forehead, “… loved.” His voice drops to a husky whisper before he meets my lips with his.

I pull back from the kiss, my eyes wide.Did he just say he loves me?

“Josh…” I start, but he puts his thumb over my lips to silence me.

“You are it for me, Carolina. I get it if you need time, and I can wait. I’ve waited my whole life for you. I can wait until you’re comfortable with us, until you’re ready. I can wait forever if that’s what it takes. But I’m not going anywhere. You have me… all of me.”

Tears well up in my eyes so quickly I can’t hold them back. And I don’t want to. He just laid his heart on the line. I see it in his warm, brown eyes. He’s being sincere. It’s not some cruel joke, not a game, and he won’t bolt if I open up too much. It’s Josh, promising me that someone truly cares about me and that I can rely on him.

“You have me too,” I say, pulling him back into a kiss.

* * *

Josh

My heart flips at her words. I kiss her, wishing the kiss could show her how much she already means to me.

Is it possible to overdose on happiness?

I cradle her face, mindful of being gentle and considerate. I know she is inexperienced, and I should have thought about that before I spooked her earlier with my boldness.

I meant what I told her. I can wait forever if she needs me to. I want her to be ready for everything that could be between us. But God, I just got carried away. She is so fucking perfect, everything I’ve ever wanted. She is fierce, funny, and compassionate. And she is the perfect mix of cute and sexy.

I break the kiss so I can gaze into her golden eyes. She smiles softly at me, and before she knows it, I’ve gently flipped us around, so she’s now lying on her back with me hovering above her.

“I could kiss you forever,” I murmur, peppering kisses up her neck.

I love to see goose bumps rise in response and feel her shiver under my touch.

“Didn’t say you had to stop,” she murmurs breathlessly.

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