Page 38 of A Touch of Heaven

Maybe things will be over between us before it even starts?

I feel like Stevie, torn between two men, from the book I read over the summer.The One I Wanthas stayed in my mind since I read it, but then everything by my favorite author does. Siobhan Davis has a habit of tearing you in two. But even when she puts you back together, you still feel like you’re not fully you again, you’ve changed.

That’s how I feel now.

Not fully me.

I run my hands up his arms, slowly standing on my tiptoes as I notice him studying my face.

“Not in the way you think. I like him as your brother. Well, I actually don’t right now because he’s annoyed me, but even if he hadn’t, I don’t like him like that.” My heart twitches as I say that and realize I still do. I can’t help that he still sits in my heart, but it’s clear nothing will happen between us, so I need to move on. And here’s Nate in front of me, and I think I could develop those types of feelings for him.

My lips find his, and I kiss him slowly, trying to pour those emotions into it, and I wonder if I’m trying to convince him or myself. I don’t have time to figure it out as his hands find my waist, and he kisses me back just as slowly, just as carefully. One of his hands wraps around my jaw, pulling me closer to him before he stops the kiss, sighing.

“You spoke his name in your sleep last night, Brooke… I thought it might mean…”

I cut him off, kissing him again before whispering against his lips.

“I dream of all of you. You’re all a big part of my life. It doesn’t mean anything, I promise.” He nods, lifting me up, placing me on the kitchen island, and stepping between my legs.

“So, you dream of me, Brooke?” He smirks at me like I just hugely boosted his ego, and I can’t help laughing at his reaction.

I nod, telling him the truth. I do dream of them all a lot. I just don’t think it’s the way he wants it to be.

“Soon, Brooke, I’ll be the only one you dream of.” He pulls me into a punishing, hard, and passionate kiss as if he’s trying to make Chase disappear from my mind, and I respond in kind, wanting the same. I want to be able to kiss him without thinking of his brother.

God, I really am awful, but I quickly lose myself in his lips.

He really is a great kisser, and I really do love him. Maybe not in that way yet, but this could be so easy. Suddenly, I hear someone clear their throat, and it’s Harper looking at us. We both pull away awkwardly… Well, I do. Nate couldn’t grin anymore if he tried.

“Wow…anyone wanna fill me in on when this happened?”

I blush but can see the accusations burning in her eyes. She clearly disapproves. Nate turns around to look at her.

“I’ll let Brooke fill you in on the details.” He turns back to me, kissing me softly on my lips. “I’m gonna go for a swim, then grab some breakfast with friends in town, but can we do something later? I don’t mind just us or the three of us. I’ll leave that to you, okay?”

I nod, watching his muscled back walk away from me, and I can’t help but admire just how good he looks in the morning. Harper grabs my wrist and pulls me off the counter.

“Okay, we need to talk. Outside, right now!” She pulls me outside but doesn’t stop there as we walk halfway down the beach. She’s practically dragging me without me even having my shoes on.

“What the hell, Brooke? I thought you liked Chase? So, what now? You’re going to start sleeping with his brother because he pissed you off! Think, girl!” She flicks my forehead hard.

“Ow…what the hell, Harper?” I rub my forehead, laughing. “It’s not like that…I just can’t wait around for him. You know what he said to me.” I sit on the sand beneath my feet. Even early in the morning, it’s warm, just a little damper than usual. “He slept with Chloe the same night he left me on the beach.”

Harper drops to the sand in front of me, her judgement of my bad decisions subsiding. “Damn girl…I’m sorry. How do you know?”

I fill her in on everything I saw and what Chloe said, stopping at the point of Asher coming down and finding us, knowing that’s not my story to tell.

“He clearly doesn’t want me, so why should I wait around for him to hopefully change his mind?” I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them just like that night on the beach he left me.

“I can’t do this anymore with him. I can’t keep my heart on the line, knowing he will just hurt me again.”

Harper sighs. “Oh, Brooke…I swear things would be so much easier if you just were honest with each other. He does want you, but he knows Nate likes you, so he doesn’t want to get between that! He basically told me yesterday morning. Before he went up to wake you.”

I take a second to think about it, but it makes little sense, even if that is true. He wouldn’t say that shit to me if it was true. You couldn’t say that stuff to someone you like. My stomach is in knots, and I don’t know if I can keep playing this game.

“No, Harper. I really don’t want to hear it. He wouldn’t sleep with Chloe or say any of those things if that were true. He’s just playing games with me, and I’m done with it all.”

“So what? You jump to Nate? You don’t like him like that, Brooke!”

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