Page 47 of A Touch of Heaven

CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE

BROOKE

Afew days have passed since my conversation with Harper. I’ve spent most of that trying to figure out what I want. It always comes back to Chase, but how can I have him when it’s clear he doesn’t want me? I try to see Nate in the way he wants me to, but I never quite make it there.

Do I think I could love him in the way he wants?

Maybe, but it’s not fair to keep him waiting. Nate is my whole world, along with Harper, but not in the way he wants to be. The truth is I was kidding myself thinking he could be anything other than my best friend.

Nate has spent most of his time here avoiding me. He’s been out every day with his friends and rolled back in at four a.m. this morning drunk. I need to speak with him.

The warm sand under my thighs as I sit here staring at the horizon against the sea is a reminder that this vacation so far has been far from what I expected. I wanted freedom. A chance to be who I really wanted and I feel like I’ve messed everything up.

I think Nate’s been giving me space, hoping I will realize I’m in love with him, but I know now that will never happen. Either that, or he’s avoiding me, knowing this conversation will come. Chase hasn’t contacted me again after I ignored his calls that night.

I sit and wonder what he’s doing. My mind is scared senseless with him being involved in Asher’s vendetta. I understand it, though. The more I think about it, the clearer it becomes. My heart breaks for Asher. His family is Chase and Jax. It’s clear his parents never cared enough.

My family cares about me. Sometimes a little too much, but I know now I would rather have that than not have them care at all. But I also know family is more than blood. Nate, Harper, and even Chase, Asher, and Jax are my family, too. As long as they are careful, then I can support them in this.

I feel someone sit down next to me. Their hand tosses my hair, and I turn slightly and see Jax. “Hey, pretty girl, penny for your thoughts?”

“You’re back!” I say excitedly.

“Yeah, we are.” I hug him tightly, realizing how much I’ve missed these boys.

“Did you…I mean, is someone…” I ask, pulling back.

He shakes his head.

“No, Brooke. We just needed a few days to sort through some things. Asher needed time. He hasn’t told anyone about his sister since us, and he’s good at compressing things usually, but telling you…” he trails off, and I get it.

It brought everything back. I saw how he was at the end. Not the tough Asher we know. He was that nine-year-old boy again. Broken and scarred, and I realize he will always be that boy under the mask. No one could ever get over something like that.

“And Chase?” I ask nervously.

His voice turns cool,“What about him, Brooke? The last thing I heard was you telling him you wanted nothing to do with him. You were moving on with Nate.”

He looks directly at me, and I can feel the anger for his friend burning in his eyes. He’s annoyed—I know it—but to be honest, I don’t know why.

I quickly stand up. “I won’t argue with you, Jax. What goes on between me and Chase is between us. And nothing is going on between us anyway. He made it clear he didn’t want that, so why does it matter? Sure, he’s sorry for how it went down, but he doesn’t care about me the way Nate does.”

Jax catches my arm, pulling me back down with a thump on the sand.

“And you? Do you care about Nate the same way you do Chase?” His brilliant blue eyes stare intensely at me.

“No,” I say quietly. “I want to, but I don’t. I’ve been in love with his brother for so long now I don’t think I could. But I haven’t told Nate that yet. He’s been avoiding me.”

Jax stands up, brushing the sand off his shorts before holding his hand out to me. I take it doing the same and brushing the sand off me.

“Okay. No more moping about, girl. Fuck them both. You do you, alright Brooke? You’re an amazing girl, and if I’m honest, I’m not sure either of them deserves you. But I do know that you need to hear my friend out. He’s been thinking a lot about how things have gone down here, and I think you need to hear what he has to say first.”

I briefly look back at the ocean, mulling over what he said before meeting his gaze.

“Okay, but not yet. I still need time, and I don’t think I can forgive a lot of what happened.”

He nods, pulling me into a tight hug, and I press my head against his chest. “You know it would just be simpler if you just dated me, right?”

I laugh, pulling back and pushing his chest. Not that he moves much. “Yeah, Jax, that would definitely not make it worse!”

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