Page 10 of Home for the Holidays

“You know it, baby.” He flipped imaginary long hair over his shoulder as they stood in line on the Jetway. “Iris?”

“What’s up?” She looped her arm through the crook of his and pulled him close. He looked so adorable with his Chicago Bears baseball cap and glasses on. If there ever was a man she was going to be attracted to, it really would have been him.

“I’m super nervous.”

She leaned her head onto his shoulder. “I know. You have every right to be. But it’s going to all be fine. I promise. I’m not going to let this week fail. I’m especially not going to let you squander the superb acting I’m about to unleash.”

“I really hope you’re right.”

After they found their seats, a flight attendant appeared and asked if they would like something to drink.

“I’ll take a prosecco,” Zac said.

“Vodka soda, please,” Iris chimed in.

As the flight attendant moved on to the next passenger, Iris looked at Zac. “Free drinks? What the hell?”

He laughed. “I mean, someone is paying for them. Just not us.”

“I’ll thank your mom, for sure.”

“Please don’t. She’s only bragging now. As if an all-expenses paid trip via Delta first class was the only thing I’d say yes to. I mean, she’s not completely wrong.” He waved his hand through the air. “I love her, but damn.”

“So, what’s the deal with you and her, hmm? You don’t talk about her much.”

He sat up straighter in his seat and looked out the window of the plane. “Not much to say.” His tone of voice made Iris think there was something else layered beneath the subdued melancholy.

Their drinks were delivered, and soon Iris was raising her glass in a toast. “To a week of being in a relationship.”

“To us!” Zac tapped his plastic prosecco flute against her cup and took a sip. “What if we decide this is really what we want?”

Iris let out a laugh that was far too loud in the quiet of the first-class cabin. After batting away a few glares, she turned to Zac and whispered, “You mean like we decide we want to be together?”

“Don’t laugh,” Zac said with a tiny whine. “I really love you, Iris. Can you see us being super happy together? I get that we aren’t like, y’know, attracted to each other, but you’re everything to me. You brought me out of my shell. I could totally see myself with a cougar like you too.”

“You did not just call me a cougar.”

He shrugged. “I sure did.”

“I amnotthat much older than y—okay, fine. You’re right. Ten years is kind of a lot. But seriously, Zac. We are happy together because we’re friends. We’re the completely gay version of Will and Grace.” She watched him process her words before she pursed her lips together, an idea percolating in her brain. “Come here,” she whispered. He did as she asked, and she placed her lips on his.

As he pulled away and opened his eyes, he started to giggle. “Yeah, you’re right. Definitely gay.”

“Same,” she added before she drank from her vodka soda, hoping to wash away the feeling of kissing him. “Doesn’t hurt to try, though, right?”

“Thank you, Iris.”

“For trying? Don’t mention it,” she said with a fake air of superiority. She knew the more she tried to show him it would never work between them, the more he’d understand.

“God, no,” he said after he sipped his prosecco. “For doing this for me.”

“You’re welcome.” She reached over and patted his leg.

After a few more beats of silence, Zac leaned his head back and promptly fell asleep. He could fall asleep anywhere. Iris was jealous, especially an hour into the flight, when turbulence started to rock the plane. Flying was not her favorite mode of transportation, so she ordered two more vodkas and decided to sayfuck the soda water. She pulled out her journal and opened to a blank page. She needed to sort out her feelings.

Escaping New York City during the holidays was feeling increasingly like a necessity. She was upset that her parents had decided to go on a cruise, but she hadn’t found a way to deal with the reality that they weren’t the ones she wanted to spend the holiday with. Admitting that would mean admitting that she was still angry with her mother for literally everything—the way she’d poorly handled Iris’s coming-out, the way she’d glossed over her overreaction and into saintlike acceptance without so much as an apology. Sadness and anger were two emotions she refused to face. Instead, she shelved both next to every other disappointment she had concerning her mother.

And, truth be told, the city was starting to wear on her. She loved it, but at the same time, she was so ready for a change, for something different, new, and exciting. All New York had gotten her was a battered and bruised heart. Running from every relationship and not trusting anyone was quickly showing her that she wasn’t at all cut out for commitment and intimacy.

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