Page 80 of Sex Ed

‘Beth,’ Alicia says. ‘Please can you ensure Mia’s lessons are covered for the day. Mia, I’d like to see you in my office… now.’

ED

Hey, I’m free this evening? Want to come over for a takeaway? Wine?

And that was how it all started. A casual text at 6 p.m. on a Saturday. After I crawled back to my flat having retrieved my lost butt plug, I stood there and realised I needed to just jump the gun. What was Mia always telling me? I lack any form of spontaneity. I plan things to the letter and sex with Caitlin was something that just couldn’t be planned. So I changed my sheets, I checked the expiry date on my sea bass and I sent that text. She’d just met a friend for lunch, so she was out and came over. Was it everything I’d planned and rehearsed? I wish I could remember. The night just comes to me in flashes of good, hazy memories. Good wine. Some soft jazz playing (not Taylor Swift). Her head tilted back laughing on my sofa, her taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom, spooning her after the event, the streetlights bouncing off her skin, lying there full of relief and a glow that it had gone relatively well. That she was here, that this was the start of something possibly great. And yes, it did last longer than thirty seconds. I surprised myself. I think she had an orgasm. I certainly did.

‘Hey…’

As I walk up to her now at the end of a school day, all I can feel is hope. These were the small things I fantasised about. Just having someone at the end of a day to go home with. Her face warms to see me and she reaches over to give me a kiss on the cheek.

‘How was your day?’ she asks, taking my hand in hers.

‘OK, I think. You?’

‘Eventful,’ she says smiling, nodding. ‘Can we go to yours? Maybe we can get some food in.’

As soon as she says this, I feel nothing but relief. It’s been like this since Saturday. I was relieved she showed up, that she stayed overnight and let me make her coffee on Sunday morning, that she didn’t blank or ghost me today, that she wants a repeat event at my flat tonight.

‘Sure. Or I can cook?’ I suggest. She smiles and we start walking towards my car.

‘Have you seen Mia today?’ she asks me.

‘Why?’

She looks pensive for a moment.

I will admit to feeling some relief that Caitlin didn’t leave my flat after Mia’s impromptu gate-crash on Saturday. I’m not sure if this is her way of saying we need to discuss that.

‘I haven’t…’

‘You’ve not seen her all day? Got any messages from her? Spoken to any of the staff?’

I shrug. ‘It’s been one of those days. I’ve been holed up with lab techs getting stuff ready for Year 9 dissections, going through exam prep…’

She stops for a moment as we reach my car. ‘Then I’m actually not sure how to tell you this. Have you not heard the news?’

I hold my car keys in my hand, squeezing them tightly. I haven’t heard from Mia since Saturday night and suddenly, terror lurches in my stomach. Did she not make it home? I usually text her or drop her a message to check in but I’ve been otherwise engaged. I feel terrible for not having made sure she got back safely.

‘Is she OK? Don’t tell me she’s still hungover?’ I say, trying to mask my worry with humour.

‘She’s been suspended,’ she mutters.

‘She’s been what?’ I say, in shock, taking out my phone. ‘Why? I should call her and make sure she’s alright.’ I’m thrown into a blind panic. I can only imagine she was late this morning and didn’t call it in. Or is this about something else? Something worse? ‘She had a work review due. Maybe her in-class assessments didn’t go well.’

I feel Caitlin’s hands go into mine to calm me down, her fingers stopping me from dialling.

‘Maybe give her a moment… Last thing I heard Beth took her home,’ she tells me.

‘I can’t believe she wouldn’t have called,’ I say despondently, checking my messages and any trace of missed calls. I think of all the reasons why this would have happened. I helped Mia out with her paperwork for her assessments. That was all in line. Maybe Alicia had had enough of her flaunting her smart shoe policy. I always told her Alicia’s warnings would have consequences. However, there is also an element of hurt that she didn’t think to come and look for me or let me know if something that major had happened. The only thing I can think is that she was too ashamed.

‘She loves teaching. This will really break her, you know?’ I explain, thinking through the processes of why this would happen and what will happen next. Could she get fired? What about all these kids sitting exams? What about Mia’s rent?

‘You seem overly invested in Mia, you know?’ she says, curtly, reading the panic in my face. I unlock the car and she gets inside. I’m not sure what she means but I get in, too, and watch as she puts her seatbelt on quietly. Maybe now is the time to clear that air.

‘She is just a friend,’ I try to explain to her.

‘I have friends too but none that show up on my doorstep, drunk at midnight,’ she says. Is she jealous?

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