Page 105 of Alive At Night

Julian held my gaze for the longest time. It was the worst sort of anticipation, nothing like this weekend when I knew we were moments from kissing.

Now I knew we were moments from breaking.

“It wasn’t impulsive,” I added in a breathy whisper.

“What?”

“When I kissed you at the wedding? That wasn’t impulsive. It’s not like I never thought about you…like that before,” I confessed, opening myself up to even more pain and embarrassment. “But I guess it wasn’t the same for you.”

Julian shook his head sadly, and I didn’t know how to interpret it. “Kissing you feels like living, Juniper.”

I nodded, hating how I’d felt so high and now I felt so low. “But tomorrow, we’re just going to exist, aren’t we?”

He paused, and a wave of nausea hit me at his silence.

“Tomorrow, we’re just going to exist,” he said.

To his credit, the words were pained and sharp. Which explained why they cut so deep.

Unable to handle it any longer, I looked away. Silence filled the office, replacing the gasps and groans from minutes earlier. When Julian spoke again, his voice scraped against my heart.

“The flower,” he said throatily. When I glanced at him, he pointed over my shoulder. I followed his finger to my row of plants on his desk. “It finally bloomed.”

I closed my eyes momentarily, feeling like we were on a Ferris wheel that was slowly losing control.

“It’s a moonflower, Julian,” I said, repeating the same thing I’d said numerous times before.

He took a step closer, his body cradling mine. His words whispered across my hair. “Tell me what that means, Daisy.”

Tipping my head back, I traced his face with my eyes, loving and hating every inch of it. Julian’s attention dropped to my mouth, but he didn’t move. He waited for my answer, which came in the form of a confession.

“It only comes alive at night.”

ten years ago

“I’ll bring you to your sister,” the nurse said, the words swimming around my head.

“She’s okay,” she continued, looking over her shoulder. “But she has a pretty nasty concussion and a broken collarbone. I believe she’ll be returning from X-Ray soon.”

Relief, pure sweeping relief, made it easier to breathe. And yet…it still felt like something was stuck in my throat. In my chest.

“She’ll recover?” I asked, thinking that maybe I just needed to hear it a second time.

The nurse nodded reassuringly. She stopped by the door to a room, giving me a kind, sympathetic look. “You can wait in her room for her if you want,” she said, gesturing to the doorway before walking away.

My feet wouldn’t move. She didn’t say anything about Juniper. Juniper must be in the room, then, right? She was fine; she was waiting for Gemma. I’d see her in just a few seconds when I finally got my feet to move.

My heart strained against the wall of my chest, pounding so hard that it felt like I was about to have the medical emergency. For every rapid thump, her name repeated in my brain.

Juni, Juni, Juni, Juni.

My feet broke free, rushing toward the hospital room the nurse gestured to. It was empty, and something inside me cracked open. I spun around, desperately searching for a flash of brown hair, but nothing…there was nothing. Chaos surrounded me as I pushed my feet forward, following in the direction the nurse went. The flash of her blue scrubs rounded the corner, and I picked up my pace, shouting after her.

“Where is she?”

The nurse paused and then backpedaled. Her brows furrowed. “Your sister will be back from X-Ray soon.”

I shook my head, wringing my hands together as I tried not to scream. “Not Gemma. Where’s her friend…the one who was in the car with her when they crashed.”