Page 106 of Alive At Night

The nurse’s confusion doubled down, and I threaded my fingers through my still-damp hair, pulling at the ends in frustration.

“Juniper,” I clarified, feeling like my knees were about to give out. “Juniper St. James. Brown hair, brown eyes, so fucking pretty. Please tell me someone knows where the hell she is.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE

julian

THE PAST WEEK HAD been torture, and frankly, I deserved it.

Being in the office with Juniper was more impossible than usual. In a way, it proved my point. If we continued whatever the fuck we’d started at the wedding, and then again the other night, there was no way in hell I’d be able to concentrate on work. Existing around her was distracting enough, and at the moment, our interactions were only clipped greetings and necessary case updates.

I hated it.

So, as it turned out, Juniper was also right.

We couldn’t go back.

We rarely got along to begin with, but now we existed in an entirely new dimension. This wasn’t anything like it was before. It wasn’t mild irritation or playful teasing. This was painful. It felt like every breath I took was only enough air to get by until the next inhale, and I’d never get back to fully living unless I had her.

But I had some faith that our relationship would come back around if I waited long enough.

At least until Thanksgiving. Then, that faith quickly vanished.

Thanksgiving was one of those yearly constants. My whole family would spend the morning in the kitchen, we’d eat dinner together midafternoon, and then the St. James family would come over at night to kick off the Christmas season by watching a movie picked by one of our moms. Sometimes we’d even start pulling out decorations, and Juniper and Gemma would run around our old house with strings of lights.

I watched Katherine and Brooks St. James walk in the front door, eagerly waiting to see Juni follow them inside. I’d seen Juniper for the last ten days straight, and after one whole day without her, I was fucking miserable.

But she wasn’t there. My heart sank.

And then a hand slapped my chest.

“What did you do?”

“Jesus, Gemma.” I rubbed the spot she slapped and crossed my legs while sinking deeper into the couch. “I didn’t—”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence because it was such a fucking lie.

I did do something. I did a lot of somethings, including pinning Juniper to our office door and thrusting my fingers inside her until she cried into my mouth while coming.

And then I told her it could never happen again.

I shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t have done any of it. But at least now I could live and die knowing what Juniper felt like, what her little gasps of desire sounded like. Fucking exquisite, all of it. Hertaste. Christ, her taste.

“You’re such an ass.”

True, very true. After all, I was sitting next to my sister, thinking dirty things about her best friend. Reliving them, actually.

I felt Gemma’s eyes bore into the side of my head while I stared longingly at the door, hoping Juni would still walk through it.

“Oh, where’s Juniper?” I heard my mom ask Katherine in the background, followed by a quick explanation of how Juni hadn’t been feeling good.

“Ate too much turkey?” my dad joked, and light chuckles followed.

That wasn’t it. I knew Juni.

“What did you do?” Gemma hissed, repeating herself. “Did something happen at the wedding that Juni didn’t tell me?”

Everything happened at the wedding.

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