Page 78 of Resistant

Knox returns and slams the car door, and my Angel startles. He hands me a keycard and parks. We silently grab our things from the car and Brynn follows me.

“Brynn, you are with me,” Knox calls.

“Fuck off!” Brynn yells back and I snort.

I can practically see the wrath of my Princess rolling off her skin. Knox has no idea. The only thing that would make this better is if he demanded my Princess go on a run with him. Fuck, I’d like to see that.

I open the door and push it wide so Brynn can enter before me. She stumbles inside and I turn to see Knox standing behind, chin and neck ripe with scratches and a fresh bruise blooming on his jaw. I smirk and slam the door in his face. Motherfucker.

I’m weary, I need some sleep. But I also know that Brynn and I need to talk, and my princess needs to know that hurling herself out of moving vehicles is definitely against the rules. I chuck my stuff on the bed and strip down to get in the shower.

“Princess, can you order us some food. I’m starving, but I don’t feel like peopling.”

“Thank God.” She murmurs.

She opens drawers looking for menus.

I get under the lukewarm spray and try to make some sense of what happened today. While I’m alone for a few minutes, I let the rage roll over me, not only for Brynn but for anyone else who might have been forced into a slavery contract with Reform constituents. My body trembles with violence and I breathe slowly trying to let it go. I’m no good to Brynn if I’m looking for a fight around every corner.

But fuck, I want to fight. I turn the handle to the blue side and gasp as the icy water flows over me. I sputter and get out, listening for Brynn. I hear voices, so she must have turned on the TV.

I step out and Brynn is having a solitary room service picnic on the bed. There’s food all around her. I zero in on the bottle in her hand. It’s a fifth of whisky and it’s not cheap whisky.

I hope Knox gave the hotel a credit card. She’s drinking it straight from the bottle. I watch as she swallows and squints as the burn travels down her throat. She shakes her head and takes another bite of her burger. I swipe the bottle out of her hand and take a swig.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Declan.”

Her voice is hoarse, and barely above a whisper.

My heart thuds in my chest, and I swallow around a lump in my throat.

“We have to Princess. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I need to know what’s happening in your head, I can’t protect you if you aren’t with me, yeah?”

She nods but doesn’t speak.

I grab a burger and chew around it forcing myself to get some energy in my body. It’s a good burger, but it might as well be cardboard with ketchup on top because my stomach is rioting at all the new complications that might take Brynn from me.

“So, our plan stays the same. We get to wherever we are going with Knox, and we regroup. Figure a way out of wherever we end up and find the Resistance. Whatever happens, I’m with you until the end. Yeah?”

A lone tear falls down her cheek and she nods her head. She won’t look into my eyes, and I’m learning that if she won’t meet my eyes that generally means something bad for me.

“Tell me what’s going on in your head Angel.”

She takes another swig from the whiskey bottle, and I gently take it from her. I fully understand the need to escape, but it’s not a good time for that. She lets out a chuckle that sounds like impending pain, and her smile is lethal.

“I want to hang that douchebag out to dry. But I can’t. He knows where my children are Declan. And he will abuse me and force me into his own twisted hell, so I comply with his evil, sadistic plans. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of that contract, especially since I admitted to the military that it’s a sound document. My missing signature is a formality, and it won’t matter in the end. I’m going to have to sell my soul to break that contract, and my children are going to suffer because of it. I promised you that I wouldn’t let him get in my head, and the first thing I do is exactly that. My heart is bleeding out and I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. I thought the Reform had taken everything from me, that I am a only a husk of a human being. But I’m not. And this fucking hurts. My only hope is that my boys are out there somewhere thriving without me and being better people than I am.”

She breaks down, sobs escape from her pretty mouth and her shoulders shake. I move next to her and rub her back in slow circles. She takes a breath and continues.

“And there is you. I don’t know what to feel. I’m so confused. I can’t get close enough to you, but in the next moment, I’m pushing you away. I trust you when I shouldn’t trust anyone. I want to let you go, but instead I reach for you. It’s like my body doesn’t agree with my mind. None of it makes sense. You scare the crap out of me and I don’t know what to do about it. But I do know that I don’t want to drag you into this mess of mine. You should go at your first opportunity and live, really live Declan. And I’m so angry. I’m furious that our world has imploded on itself and put me into another impossible situation. I’m furious with Knox because he pretended to be a good guy to try and gain my trust. I always knew he was the enemy, but I had no idea how twisted he is, and I got into bed with him in more ways than one. He’s evil. I’m not a violent person, but the world has changed me and I’m not sure I like who I’ve become. Sasha is relying on me to get to her girls, and I can’t even handle myself. There’s all this pressure, that I’m “the one” and I can barely get my ass out of bed in the mornings. I don’t know what to do with any of this. I know I need help, but I can’t ask for it. I can’t let anyone else jump into this cesspool with me, most of all you. You deserve so much more, Declan.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and I feel raw. I can’t let her undo the progress we’ve made. My hands tremble and I realize we are right back on the precipice from a few days ago.

“Angel, the rest of us already are in the cesspool, if you haven’t noticed. All we can do is try to help each other to take our power back and make the world better. And those feelings that are bottling up in you, I have them too, so let’s take us a day at a time and see where these leads. No pressure. You get me? I promised to help you get your boys and get all of you safe and I’m not going back out on that. You might be important to the world, but all of those reasons they have don’t matter to me. I have my own reasons why you are important to me. More than important, vital. Listen to me, now Brynn. I need you to really hear me.”

I wait, making sure all of her attention is focused on me.

“I’m not letting you go without a fight, there would have to be a fucking epic reason to convince me to leave your side. I don’t think I can at this point, not even for you.” My voice goes hoarse with emotion and any other words I had to say get stuck in my throat. I try to swallow over them.

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