Page 72 of Knot Forever

I feel a twinge of what might be regret. But it quickly fades as I see the vivid purple bruising on Nova’s face as Marcus and Asher undo her bindings, as she breaks down into heaving, weak sobs, as her fingers touch her neck and come away stained withblood,the telltale thin cut opening up as she buries herself into Marcus and he wraps his arms around her tightly.

After that, my only regret is that we didn’t get to spend some time with the two of them in our own special playroom under the casino.

Julian clearly liked to play games, but I don’t think he would have enjoyed ours very much.

***

Nova clutches my shirt as Asher drives at full speed to the hospital. Our clean-up crew passes us, heading back the way we came, and his eyes meet mine in the mirror.

I meant what I said to Adam. By the time our crew is finished, there’ll be no sign that he or Julian ever existed.

The hospital is a blur. Brief moments of holding Nova are my only clarity as she’s checked over by several doctors at Asher’s insistence. Marcus and I stay close to her, her eyes closed and her hands in ours as he barks orders, the dark tone of his voice the only indication of his feelings.

A female, no-nonsense doctor comes to see us a short while later. Nova is still sleeping, the little sobs slipping from her lips breaking my fucking heart.

But that’s not a battle I can fight for her.

“We have a situation,” the doctor says briskly. “Nova is entering her heat. It will be here in around three hours, possibly less.”

My heart flips as I look down at her. She doesn’t deserve her first heat to be on the back of the ordeal she’s just been through. Her face is puffy with bruises, deep circles under her eyes with exhaustion.

This is no way for her to have a heat.

I stroke my hand over her head, my gut clenching. “Nova.”

Her eyes flicker open, and she panics until I cup her cheek, mindful of her bruised skin. “Sweetheart, you need to listen to me. Your heat is coming, but we can delay it until you’re feeling better. Do you want that?”

She stares at me blankly, and I repeat my words a couple of times until understanding fills her eyes. She blinks rapidly as she nods.

Asher turns to the doctor. “Do it.”

We have to sit there, useless, and watch helplessly as they hook our girl up to bags of fluid to help her dehydration, the doctor sliding a big fucking needle into her skin to give her the medication to stave off her heat. She’ll be unconscious for a number of hours.

At that stage, Asher has to leave, his hands shaking as he goes for a walk. He looks like he wants to put his fist through a wall, and I could easily join him.

When she cries, short hiccupping noises in her sleep again, Marcus slides into the bed behind her. He holds her to him until she quietens, his eyes moving to me. “What do we do?” he asks.

I know what he means.

“Whatever she wants,” I murmur. “Whatever she needs.”

Chapter thirty-three – four months later – Nova

Emmaleansforward,herchic gray bob swishing as she pins me with alook.

“What?” I protest, but there’s laughter in my voice as I flop into my usual spot on her couch.

“Nova,” she sighs. It’s a familiar sound. I’m fairly sure that I’ve given my therapist some sleepless nights since I first started seeing her a few months ago, but I think we’ve built some solid foundations in our fortnightly sessions together. “Bring me up to speed. I think I can guess, based on your expression.”

I nearly bounce in my seat. After what happened with Julian and Adam, I withdrew for a while. I hid away in my room, not eating properly, not sleeping, until finally Asher carried me out and brought me here, desperate for someone to help me.

It was the best gift he could have given me. Not a magic fix, but a way out of the darkness that gripped me every time my pack touched me. I never wanted to associate their touches with Julian, but I couldn’t help it.

But we’ve finally turned a corner. Maybe not a permanent one, but one where I can actually feelhappyagain. One where the touch of my pack doesn’t make me flinch.

We found our rhythm again a month or so ago, when I finally had enough and pounced on Seth. But Asher kept his distance, worried he would push me backwards given his tastes for something a little darker.

I tap my fingers on the couch, smiling. Until yesterday.

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