Page 18 of Say You'll Stay

“Oh. Why lie about that?”

I sigh again. “Sorry for lying to you about it. I left that life behind, and I didn’t want anything to do with it—"

“If you don’t want to tell me about it, that’s okay, Elsie. But if you do, I’m here for you.”

“I do not deserve you. You know that, right?”

She giggles and cheekily says, “Of course you don’t, but who does deserve me? I’m fabulous. Go on, if you want to.”

“I came from a town called Sewmond. The only industry in the place to this day is coal mining. If you don’t work in the mines or the two restaurants or the one gas station, then you are unemployed. Opioids hit the place hard, and it’s a wonder how people even survive there. It was my nightmare, every single day.”

“God, honey, I’m sorry.”

I am not there now. Take a breath. Do not panic.I gulp down some more coke. “I worked hard in school, and thankfully, it wasn’t difficult to excel when no one else really bothered to try. Valedictorian is easy when there’s no competition, but I still maintained a perfect GPA throughout school.”

“That is a lot of work.”

I nod. “I had my eyes on a scholarship, and I got it. Several, actually. I went to West Virginia University, which is a total party school, by the way. Far worse than their reputation, too. But I leveraged my good grades into getting into Columbia, where I met you.”

She smiles. “See? A happy ending. I don’t understand how all of that left you perpetually grumpy.”

“There’s something else I never told you about.” I finish my taco and hope to keep it down.

“Again, if you don’t want to tell me, then you don’t have to.”

“It’s about time I own up to this. Remember around graduation, I got a little distant about things?”

“Yeah. You said you were worried about your job prospects, but I told you that was silly, because you’re brilliant. What’s that got to do with anything?”

I take a breath. “And do you remember how I never dated in grad school? When Darren asked me out, I told him I was engaged?”

She laughs. “Yeah. Can’t really pull that off without a guy and a ring. You should think of better lies next time...” But then a hint of recognition comes over her face. “Oh my god, Elsie.”

Slowly, I nod. “Yeah.”

“You...you were, I mean, you are...are you a lesbian?”

I laugh and choke on my coke for a moment. “No!”

“Oh, well, I mean, can you blame me for thinking that?”

“I guess not. But that’s not the secret. Iwasengaged at the time.”

She blinks at me. “What?”

“He was my high school sweetheart. Jimmy Wayne Davies.”

“No!”

“Yep. And we were supposed to get married right after graduation.”

Savannah shakes her head. “You’re not about to tell me you’re Mrs. Jimmy Wayne Davies, are you?”

“No.”

“Well, what the hell happened?”

I take a breath and steady myself, thinking back to that day all those years ago. “I made the drive back to Sewmond. It was raining, and I tried to think that was romantic, but it wasn’t. The rain has been ruined for me that way... anyway, I tried, Savannah, I really tried. But I had dreaded my wedding day for years.”

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