Page 131 of The Hallows Queen

I nod. “Okay.”

His hand slides to my leg, and I hate how good it feels. I don’t push it away, allowing myself to enjoy it. “Your turn. Tell me about the last four years.”

Sitting up straight, I thread my hands together. “My dad died a few weeks after you left, then a few months later, my mom died unexpectedly – a stroke. I stayed in their house for months, then finally sold it. After a year, I tried to think about my future again. Everything else kind of fell into place without me realizing. I found the restaurant and Gavin, and it’s been day-to-day ever since.”

He takes a deep breath before he speaks. “I never took you for someone who would be happy living day-to-day.”

I shrug, finding his gaze. “Yeah, well. Shit happens.”

“P…” he starts, lifting his hand to my chin. “Are youokay?”

“I’m fine, Hayden.”

He shakes his head when I shrug again. “It doesn’t seem like it. It seems like you’re still really fucking broken.”

His words reach deep down inside me, and moisture licks at the back of my eyes. “You weren’t here to pick up the pieces of what you did, so I had to do all the heavy lifting alone, and then everything else crumbled down around me, and it just got too fucking heavy. I’m fine. I’ve learned to live with all of this brokenness at my feet, and it all feels normal now.”

He leans toward me, and I pull back.

“Don’t.”

“Penelope.” He shakes his head, looking away. “Tell me what I can do to make the parts that I broke better.”

“There’s nothing…” I answer, a tear rolling down my face. “You’ll go back to California and live your life, and I’ll still be here, in Luxington, living in the ashes of everything my life has become.”

I can tell that my words have hit home, because he flinches and his face morphs into a sadness that feels so familiar it burns. Clearing my throat, I try to change the subject. “Is there anything I can do to help with the funeral? Do you have a plan?”

“It’s all taken care of.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes pass with no words exchanged, and I hate how uncomfortable it makes me. And then, Hayden stands up. “I think I’m going to go to bed. You’re welcome to use one of the other rooms – or if you want to go home, that’s fine.”

“Okay,” I repeat, even though nothing is okay right now. “Sleep well.”

He doesn’t look at me. “You too.”

I watch him walk across the suite, into his bedroom, and when he turns to close the door, he finally meets my gaze. He looks broken too, even if I don’t want to admit that it’s possible because of how selfish my own brokenness has made me – and my heart splits open. As he closes the door, I keep my eyes on him, and when it finally shuts, I blow out the breath I didn’t know I was holding, a tear rolling down my cheek.

* * *

Around 4 a.m.,I wake up under the heavy comforter on the bed, confused as to where I am. It’s a moment before I remember I’m in one of the bedrooms in Hayden’s suite, and I sit up to drink some of the water on the nightstand.

There’s a boulder in my gut, spinning and rocking, and it makes me throw the comforter off and step out. Creeping my way out of the room, my eyes adjust to the darkness in the main area, and I slowly walk toward the room Hayden is in. When I approach, I push the door open, trying not to wake him, just needing to see him.

He’s under the blankets, his chest rising and falling slowly, and I take a couple of steps into the room to listen to him breathing.

After a moment, his voice cuts through the silence, heavy with sleep. “Come here.”

I hesitate, but eventually walk toward him and climb into bed without another moment of hesitation. He rolls over, wrapping his body around me and engulfing me in the heat I didn’t know how much I missed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, curling against him. His hands stroke down my bare arms, and my skin turns to goosebumps. Silence falls, and the sound of him breathing fills my ears. I listen to him until I’m confident he’s fallen asleep, then I finally close my eyes and let sleep consume me too.

Chapter46

Hayden

When I wake up,Penelope is gone.

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