Page 130 of The Hallows Queen

I put the bags of food down on the table just inside. “Hungry?”

Hayden closes the door, locking it, then faces me. “Not really.”

I laugh. “So why did we stop and get food?”

He shrugs, quiet for a moment as he stares at me. “P, what’re you doing here?”

Sighing, I shake my head. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t leave you to deal with this alone.”

Stepping toward me, he reaches a hand out to touch me, and I move out of his reach. “Don’t.”

He nods, freezing. We stare at each other for another breath, then he takes a step away. “I’m going to take a shower. Make yourself at home.”

He’s turning and walking away before I can respond, so I dig around in the bags and pull out my dinner. I haven’t eaten since this morning, and my stomach growls when I smell the fettuccine inside the plastic containers. Grabbing a plastic fork, I make my way across the suite and find the mini fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and balancing it in my arms as I head for the couch.

I put everything down on the coffee table, then kick off my shoes.

Sighing and taking the lid off my food, I settle back on the couch and eat in silence.

What am I doing?

The question repeats over and over again in my mind as I eat slowly, and everything starts to click. Maybe Hayden is right – maybe we met at the wrong time, maybe it would work if we tried now, but I’m so scared of what could go wrong that a weight starts to settle in my gut whenever I think of trusting him again. I’m still too angry, too bitter, too fucking scarred.

When my food is gone, I put the lid back on the container and get up to throw it away. Settling back on the couch, I turn my head and rest it on the back.

Hayden appears across the room a moment later, a pair of sweats hanging on his hips, with his chest bare.

He looks refreshed, and part of me craves a shower as well, wanting to wash away the feeling of being at the hospital.

“Hey.” He sits next to me, grabbing a cushion and wrapping his arms around it. “Did you eat?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

Silence takes over, and it feels like a living, breathing thing.

I focus on the sound of his breathing, closing my eyes to let the noise calm my racing heart. I always loved listening to Hayden breathe – there were so many nights I stayed up just to bask in the sound of him simply existing. It used to be my favorite song, my mantra that everything was going to be okay. The thought brings tears to my eyes so I close them tighter.

“You don’t have to stay here, Penelope. I’m okay, I promise.” His voice slices through the silence like a knife, and I risk cracking my eyes open to look at him.

He’s so beautiful, even with the ghost of everything underneath his gaze.

“I’m staying,” I say, and his eyes find mine. Something snaps within me, and I want to cross the space and kiss him.

Instead, I close my eyes again like a coward, like a little girl avoiding the truth.

“Tell me about your life now,” I say, breathing through my nose.

He clears his throat, pulling his legs up on the couch and getting comfortable. “I have a house in Santa Monica, I work for my father’s company – which I guess is mine now – Levi works with me too. I surf when I can, but I don’t have a lot of time.”

“Are you dating?” I ask, the question sour on my tongue.

“No,” Hayden answers.

“Why not?”

He shifts in his seat, and I open my eyes to look at him. He’s staring at me, something in his eyes that makes me uncomfortable. “I don’t want to talk about this, P.”

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