Page 123 of The Hallows Queen

“I’ve never seen you like this…” he trails off, looking out onto the street for a minute before he looks back at me. “Doyou love me? Because from where I’m standing right now, it seems like you don’t.” He points toward the inside of the restaurant, where I assume Hayden has returned to his table. “Do you love him?”

I start to go dizzy, so I put my hand on my temple and close my eyes. “Gavin, please don’t.”

“One word from him and you’re showing more emotion than I’ve seen in the last two years,” Gavin continues, his tone growing pleading. “What am I supposed to think?”

My eyes fill with tears, so I keep them pressed closed.

When I don’t answer him, Gavin sighs loudly and leans against the wall with me. “Do you love me, Penelope?”

I bite my lip painfully, hoping it splits because maybe I deserve a little bit of blood after putting him in a position where he’s contemplating everything. Keeping my eyes shut, I breathe through my nose, afraid that if I look at him, he’ll be able to tell that I have absolutely no idea how to answer his question.

Another moment passes before Gavin speaks again. “Do you love him?”

I swallow the lump in my throat, sniffling as tears finally spill over and slide down my cheeks. When I still don’t answer, Gavin sighs again.

“Figure it out.” I open my eyes in time to watch him walk away, get into his car, and drive off. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I clear my throat and shake out my shoulders before I pull up the Uber app on my phone.

“P.” Hayden’s voice whips my head up, and I narrow my eyes at him.

“Youstupidfuck,” I growl. “Have you not taken enough? You need to ruin this for me as well? Do you get off onruining my fucking life!?”

He gives me a sad smile. “I’m not ruining anything. I’m trying to give youmore.”

I shake my head, wanting to spit at him as raging frustration passes through me in violent waves. “Contrary to popular belief, Hayden, you arenotGod’s gift to the world. Have you ever thought that maybeI don’t fucking want what you’re offering me?!”

“God, you know I always loved when you got mean.” He licks his lips, stepping toward me as he drops his voice to a whisper. “Don’t test my strength, Penelope.”

I exhale heavily through my nose, pressing my eyes shut in exasperation. “You’re fucking crazy.”

“Maybe,” he says, taking another step closer, his eyes flaring. “But you’re the one standing here with me instead of running after yourfiancé, so maybe you’re crazy too.”

I look over at him, and he moves closer. “Fuck you.”

He grins, getting close enough to put his pelvis against my hip as his face falls into my hair. His voice is throaty and laced with desire when he breathes into my ear. “Does he fuck you as good as I do?”

“Better,” I spit, taunting him, even as my heart pounds under my ribs and my clit pulses with need from how close he is.

Hayden laughs. “I could always tell when you were lying, P.” He kisses my hair, then pulls away, stepping back. “Let’s go somewhere.”

I shake my head, feeling hot. “No.”

“Yes,” he growls, tipping his head to the side. “I’m staying in a hotel a few blocks from here. We can walk.”

“I’m not going to fuck you.” I narrow my eyes. “No matter how much you play with me, you can’t get to me that way anymore.”

“I am not a kid anymore, P.” He looks at me, our gazes clashing as he adds, “I don’t need to play with my food before I eat it.”

My breath hitches, and he smirks at me, holding a tattooed hand out for me. “Come with me, I promise I’ll be on mybestbehavior.”

Part of me wants to go with him, sit down and hash this all out so I don’t have to live with constant resentment anymore, but the other part –the smarter part– knows what happens when we get together. Fucking and fighting. That’s all we were ever good at.

“No,” I sigh. “Not today, Hayden. Maybe not ever. Just give me some time.”

I walk away from him before I have a chance to change my mind, knowing how weak I am deep down for this man. I don’t trust myself around him.

When I’m around the corner and under the shadow of a building, I pull out my phone and order an Uber. More than anything, I just want to get some peace of mind – to figure this out with Gavin so nothing else is hanging over my head like a goddamn swinging axe.

It’s ten minutes before the car pulls up to the curb, and another ten minutes before it’s dropping me off outside Gavin’s house. Swallowing the lump in my throat and wiping the smeared mascara from under my eyes, I shake out my shoulders and tell myself to grow up. I’m almost thirty; I don’t have time for these games anymore. I can’t sit here and playlove trianglewith two men who don’t deserve it.

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