Page 124 of The Hallows Queen

Even though I would usually just let myself in, when I get to the front door, I press the doorbell and wait for Gavin to open it for me. It feels like it would be an invasion of his decision to walk away from me if I just burst into his space. I need him to be ready to talk as well.

I wait a minute, then the door opens. Blowing out a sigh of relief, I try my best to give Gavin a smile, even though his face is bathed in discomfort.

“Can we talk?” I ask, and he nods silently before he steps to the side and holds the door open for me.

My stomach is filled with nerves, and as I walk past him and into the living room, I hope that I can keep my shit together long enough to find some sort of resolution.

Sitting on the couch, I watch as he moves past me and sits down on the loveseat opposite. He doesn’t give me the opportunity to say anything, he just sighs loudly before he speaks.

“I want to know how you know Hayden Monroe.”

I shake my head. “We dated.”

“When?”

I swallow. “A long time ago.”

Gavin only looks at me, blinking, and silence falls over us. I assume he wants more details, so I clear my throat. “Almost five years ago.”

“You never told me about him,” Gavin says, intertwining his fingers.

“No, we’ve never talked about any of our exes.” I shrug slightly. “It didn’t feel like I was keeping a secret because we don’t necessarily share those things with each other.”

“Why is that?” he asks, brows furrowing. “Why don’t we talk, Penelope? Why don’t I know more about you? And why don’t youwantto know more about me?”

I shake my head. “Because it doesn’t matter. You know me now and that’s what’s important.”

“No,” he scoffs. “Engaged people share things with each other. Shit, people who aredatingshare stuff. I should know you far better if I’m going to make you my wife. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to have seen so muchpassionand emotion come from you today. I should already recognize every version of you.”

His words make my stomach curl, because I never really thought about being hiswife. When he asked me to marry him, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, which I guess was pretty stupid, but hearing it that way, thinking of being hiswife, I want to throw the ring across the room.

“What?” he asks, bringing me out of my racing thoughts. “What just happened? Your face went white.”

Breathing deep, I blow it out before I start talking. “Why did you ask me to marry you?”

He blinks a few times. “Because I love you.”

Sitting up straighter, I look at him. “You love me, or you love the idea of me? You just said it yourself that we don’t know anything about each other.”

He pulls back a little, his face tightening. “Are you really turning this around on me? When you’re still in love with Hayden Monroe and never told me? I was being patient with you, because I never want to push you to do something you aren’t ready for.”

“I’m not in love with him.” I press my lips together, feeling sick.

“From where I’m sitting, Penelope, it sure as hell seems like it. I’ve never seen you so… responsive. It makes me feel like I’ve been spending my time with a ghost, someone who’s holding on to the memory of someone they can’t have and settling for the first person to come along and love them.”

“Gavin.” I flinch. “That isn’t fair.”

“Say it then. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t still have feelings for him. Say you want to be with me instead. That you want to be my wife.”

My throat tightens painfully, like it’s stopping me from muttering words I know are lies. When I open my mouth, nothing comes out except a small sound that resembles choking.

“It’s okay, Penelope.Really.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to live with a ghost, and you don’t deserve to be miserable just because you’re with the wrong person.”

My eyes have filled with tears that are heavy and hot, sliding their way down my cheeks as I pull the ring from my finger and stand up. “I’m sorry.”

Crossing the room, I extend my hand toward Gavin, and he takes the ring, curling it in his fist. “It’s okay, just please go, and don’t come back.”

I choke on a sob, looking at this decent man who I’ve been using to fill holes inside of me, and I hate myself a little bit more than I did this morning.

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