* * *
The restof the night goes by in one big blur – it’s like I blink and it’s closing time. My mind is busy, my body feels heavy, and all I want to do is go home and drink two bottles of wine.
After tipping out the team, I count and close down the registers, then sit down in my office to get some paperwork done while everyone else heads home for the night. I shoot Gavin a message, telling him that I have some work to do after close and that I can’t see him tonight, then I power on my computer.
Gavin was a happy accident – literally. I rear ended him one day on the bridge that takes you out to the beach, and instead of an insurance claim, I got a date.
Things moved slow, and I didn’t share many intimate details about myself with him until recently. And even now, he doesn’t know much.
Losing both your parents, your career, and the man you love in the span of three months will close you up –I learned that the hard way.
I had just started working at the restaurant when we met, and it was nice to have something to do after work besides searching for my feelings inside of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and a bottle of wine.
He’s…different.
That’s the only way to put it. He isn’t like anyone I’ve ever known. He doesn’t mind that I don’t share my secrets with him, or that I don’t want to live together yet, and he doesn’t mind that we have separate lives.
Maybe I’m stupid – maybe it isn’t normal, maybe I’ve grown so numb that having half of a relationship is all I can handle now.
I don’t know everything about him either; he’s just as closed off as I am, but it works.
For all I know, we’re both just as damaged as one another.
When he asked me to marry him, I didn’t have a reason to say no. What’s stopping me from making this my life? I don’t have my parents to lean on anymore, all my friends have their own lives now, and that’s the end of my list.
After an hour of inputting numbers and calculating expenses for the restaurant, I find myself yawning. I stretch my arms over my head to wake myself up, then I save all my work and shut down my computer.
My parents left me more in savings than I’ll ever need. I really don’t have to work a day in my life, as they made sure I was set up forever, but after sitting at home drinking for six months after my mom died suddenly, I needed something to keep me busy. I thought about leaving Luxington for a while, wanting to rid myself of the place that holds my worst memories, but I couldn’t make up my mind on somewhere new.
I guess I could have gone back to Washington, joined my friends in their lives, but shame was covering me after losing my career only a few months after it started.
I never spoke to anyone about what happened, about Hayden, and I don’t think I ever will. Luxington is small enough that some people know, but the school did a good job of covering it up – so it’s a one-off that I run into someone who knows my secrets.
Packing up my stuff, I throw my purse over my arm, then head for the door. Before I exit, I punch in the code for the alarm and wait for it to signal me to leave.
Once I’m outside, I lock the front doors and give them a good jiggle just in case. It’s deep into the night, nearing 1 a.m., and the air is chilly but refreshing.
I press the button to unlock my car and walk across the parking lot.
There’re a few more cars, but it isn’t unusual for people to drink too much with dinner and leave their cars here overnight, so I don’t think much of it. I’m blissfully unaware that I’m not alone until I hear a car door open behind me, and I spin around to see who it is.
Hayden is stepping out of a black Mercedes, and my stomach flips.
He walks across the lot just as I’m pulling my car door open and calls out my name to stop me from leaving. My entire body starts to burn, sweat kissing the back of my neck and my palms.
“Please, can’t we just talk?” he says as he walks up behind me, and I toss my purse inside my car before I turn around to look at him.
“We don’t have anything to talk about.”
He shakes his head, then tucks his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “That’s not true.”
I swallow thickly. “Well, I don’t have anything to say.”
“Then just listen while I talk,” he says, begging me with his eyes, then he points behind us. “Can you just come to the beach with me? Please?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Penelope, just one conversation.”