Page 76 of Fierce

“Maybe,” I said, teasing back. “And that you like having your own way. That one, I’m completely prepared to believe.”

“Well, I didn’t like most of the older guys in it at all,” Karen said. “I kind of hated Pai’s grandfather. He was such a jerk. And her dad was totally worthless. I guess Maori dads are like everybody else, huh? They’re mainly good for yelling and making everybody cry and walking out.”

I could feel Hemi stiffening beside me, the softer moment vanishing. It seemed like forever until he answered, but all he said was, “Some of them are better than others.”

“Your grandfather, maybe,” I said. “Better than your father?”

“Yeh.”

“Well, I liked her the best,” Karen said. “Pai. That she was strong and...and fierce. That she didn’t let anybody tell her no. That’s how I plan to be. Not like you, Hope. No offense.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Hemi said before I could answer. “Being fierce isn’t just about fighting, maybe. Could be it’s that other thing, that thing Hope cares most about. Knowing what needs to be done, then going on and doing it, no matter how hard it is. Being steadfast. Isn’t that fierce, too? And doesn’t that sound a bit like Hope?”

There was a lump in my throat now from more than the movie, and I didn’t know how to answer. I stood up and went to put the leftovers into the fridge, and Hemi got up to help me.

“Before I leave,” he said as he collected dishes and began to stack them next to the sink, “I wanted to ask. Would you like me to get Debra over here on Saturday?”

I glanced at Karen and said, “Uh...could we talk about this later?”

“Geez, why don’t you use sign language?” Karen said, getting up from the couch. “You could just say. I’m going. Don’t make out all night, will you? Because...so awkward.”

I waited until the bedroom door shut behind her, then turned to Hemi. “You’re thinking I’ll spend the night with you.”

His eyes were wary. “Yeh. I am. Why not, if Karen has somebody with her?”

I filled the sink with hot water and soap and began to scrub at the glasses, and to my surprise, Hemi picked up a dishtowel and prepared to help with the drying.

I swished the dish brush around, put the glasses into the other side of the sink to be rinsed, and finally said, “Because of what Karen said earlier. Because she is an impressionable teenager. It’s not really the example I want to set. How am I going to tell her to wait and get to know somebody, to be sure she’s ready for sex, if I sleep with you after a few weeks?”

“You could tell her that she’s fifteen and you’re twenty-four. And you are sleeping me with after a few weeks. A few bloody long weeks, I’ll point out. I would’ve been good with a few days. Thought I was going to get a few days. Shows what I knew.”

“Yeah. Thanks. That’s helpful. Or no, actually,” I decided, “it is. After all, that’s the point. That I’m doing exactly what I wouldn’t want Karen to do. Hooking up with somebody on a...a casual basis. And I’d rather not rub that in her face. I’m not sure the age difference will really sink in as a factor, since she seems to think I’m hopeless, and that she’s about ten years more worldly than I am. She’s wrong, but she doesn’t know it. And I’ve got four years of high school to go here.”

He was drying plates now. “Not sure ‘casual’ is the word I’d use.”

“No? I think it’s a pretty appropriate one.” Face facts.

He didn’t argue, which was why facing facts was a very good idea indeed. “What will you say if she asks?” he said instead. “About us?”

“I’ll tell her it’s not something I’m willing to share,” I decided.

I could feel his steady gaze on me. “Guessing that’s new. Not sharing.”

“No,” I said, handing him the final pieces of cutlery and pulling the stopper from the bottom of the sink. “You know that’s new. I think it’s the right answer, but I don’t know. I’m feeling my way here. Midnight curfew. How’s that?”

“Not my preference.” He hung the towel neatly over the drawer handle again. “If it’s a take-it-or-leave-it deal, though, I’ll take it. But don’t count on lingering over dinner. Fair warning.”

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