Page 86 of Lust

I sit back on the bed and open my legs, my feet planted flat on the floor. I’m trembling, remembering the way he looked at me back in the first trial. It must have crossed his mind.

I swallow back my fear as he contemplates his. He licks his lips, then slowly brings his eyes down.

It’s like I’ve scored a point in this insane game we’re playing, and either stupidity or bravado I don’t really have, forces more words from my throat. “Closer,” I whisper. “I cannot have sex with a man who is frightened of looking at my pussy.” I hold my tone. “I’ve done many things tonight that I might well wake up and regret tomorrow, but I draw the line at that.”

A muscle tics in his jaw. “I’m not scared of…”

“So show me.”

His eyes are still fixated on mine as he kneels on the floor between my legs. He had no problem with my breasts, but this is a hurdle I don’t know if he’ll be able to cope with.

I hold my breath as his eyes skim down over my chest and stomach and come to a stop. His eyes flick up to me one more time, then without hesitation, he bends lower and nestles his face between my legs. My breath releases in a loud moan as his tongue touches my clit.

I’m not used to the sensation and I have to grip the bed to stop from taking off as he laps at me quickly.

“Oh fuck!” I let the profanity fall from my lips as my body is elevated to heights I never knew could exist.

“You asked for this,” comes a murmured retort, “Now lay back and fucking take it.”

“Yessir!” I gasp as he sends my body into a cataclysm of sensation. I fall back on the bed, splaying my arms out. There’s no fear or hesitation in him now and I inhale sharply and grip onto air as my body breaks apart.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, ohh!” My legs clamp down round his ears and my hips buck wildly, almost propelling me off the bed.

I’ve never had an orgasm as a woman, given to me by a man. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and I wasn’t expecting it to feel so amazing.

“I’m not fucking scared of anything,” Felix finally says as he brings his face up for air. The dark intensity mingled with the pride in his features is almost comical, but I don’t have the energy or inclination to laugh at him. My body wants more.

I sit back up and kiss Felix roughly, tasting myself on his tongue. My body is no longer in my control. I’m crazed and needing to feel something that I don’t understand. I pull him down on top of me, desperate to satisfy a craving I’ve never had before. He doesn’t bother with removing his shirt, nor any other item of clothing, and yet he still manages to remove his cock from his pants, because suddenly I know what it feels like to be fucked as a woman. I let out a long sigh as he pushes into me. It hurts for a second and I have to grab his hand against the pain, but then it stops and becomes something wonderful.

My hips rise to meet his and it’s so damn natural and not weird and it’s not awful at all.

“I like this,” I hiss out. I know I look way more satisfied or smug than I want to, but it’s the truth. I do like this.

He kisses me deeply then whispers into my ear, “me too.” He follows it with a groan, which pulls more desire and want and need from me.

“Felix!” I breathe out as another wave of sensation, different from the first, but no less intense, takes my breath away. With my free hand, I pull his face back to mine to taste him again. I can’t seem to get enough of him, even though he’s already on me and inside me and still I want more.

I clench around his cock as the orgasm hits and it’s all I can do to hold on. He thrusts into me one last time, filling me with his own orgasm as he comes with a loud groan.

I can’t breathe. I wouldn’t have told the girls to stay away from men as much as I did if I’d have known how amazing this could feel.

“Shit, I hurt you!” Felix’s eyes widen in horror and he practically falls on the floor as he leaps off the bed. I follow his line of sight to the patch of blood soaking into the bed sheets between my legs.

“Fuck! I didn’t…”

“If you apologize one more time, the sorry fairy is going to magically appear.” I breathe back the shame that’s beginning to creep in, but then realize I have nothing to feel shame for. “You didn’t hurt me, you idiot. You took my virginity.”

He stares at me as though this is a new concept to him. “You were a virgin?”

I pull back on the bed and wrap a sheet around me, suddenly feeling foolish. “As a woman in this body, yes, I was a virgin.”

And here it is. The reminder that my body hasn’t always been this way. That I didn’t always look the way I look now. It suddenly feels cold and I’m sobering up at a rate I don’t want to. But I can’t hold back reality, no matter how much I want to.

“I have to go!” I leap out of bed and practically rip the sheet as I grab my dress and underwear from the floor. I vault for the door. Running down seven sets of stairs wearing a bloodied sheet will be humiliating, but it can’t be anymore humiliating than being crushed under the weight of Felix’s horrified stare. I hurl his door closed behind me with a bang and race as fast as I can to my own room. Tears stream down my face as I collapse onto the bed and dissolve into my own misery and humiliation.

42

KILL ME NOW

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