Page 59 of The Secret of Pain

He moves humanly slow as he walks down the stairs, meeting me in the middle of the room. I gasp as he caresses my cheek, cupping my chin as he joins me, so close it’s hard to see where he ends and I begin. My hands reach up to his arms almost instinctively, his muscles jumping beneath my touch, and his eyes almost glow.

"I did not know if you would." His words caress my skin, and a happy sigh escapes me as he lowers his head and kisses me softly, just a whisper of his lips upon mine. "I missed you, mon amour. It feels like it has been forever since my heart felt yours."

He rests his forehead on mine and pulls me tight into his embrace. His scent fills my nose and memories flood me. Our times together. The laughter, the love, but the darkness too. The secrets, the hiding, the fear.

"I remember," I gasp. "So much… and yet…" Words escape me, because there are still so many holes, but one thing I know, with every part of me, is that loving Kain was not a choice, not a plot. Loving him was something that swept me up and carried me away. Made me realize so much wasn't right.

"My first life… you were there… you showed me the truth."

"As I will always do, my love. You brought me back to life. Our meeting in Paris is one of the fondest memories I have, and I will cherish it for my entire existence. I have searched for you every life you've had since then. I have always found you, and I always will." He kisses me again, and I feel it in every inch of my body. My toes curl at the rush of love that sweeps through me and I tangle my fingers in his hair.

"You cut your hair." I smile. "It was longer when I saw you last?"

"It was, but these modern times called for a change. Much about you has changed, but you are still my Remy."

"I don't understand… there is so much still missing." I’ve just gained a whole load more new memories and yet I’m more confused than ever.

"I know, and I wish I could answer all of the questions I know you have, but I cannot. You always told me that I should not. Not until it was time, and not enough time has yet passed."

I frown at his words, but I can feel the truth of them. "Past me is a pain in my ass."

He chuckles and pulls me into his arms again. "You say the same thing in each life, mon amour, but each time, you are thankful for it. Eventually, at least."

"How did you find me?" I ask, hopeful that he can at least answer that. He pulls back and leads me over to the couches in the corner of the room, sitting but keeping contact with me, as if unwilling to let me go again.

He loosens the collar of his shirt and pulls from it a necklace that looks suspiciously like the talisman of Fallon's, except the gemstone is red. "This was made for us, by Antoine Laveau. It contains your blood, and it heats when your life is restarted. It always takes me time to reach you, and sometimes, sometimes life is at a point where I cannot make myself known to you, but I am always there, even if only in the shadows to guide you. To help where I can." His eyes are sad, and it breaks my heart. "At least, I have found you now, before it is too late. This life, I will not let you go so easily as I have before. I have missed you too much and searched too hard. Darkness is coming, and I will not let you be taken away by it."

His declaration stuns me. I can honestly say I didn’t see it coming but at least his words almost explain the dreams that have been haunting me. The feelings I have for Creek do not make anything any easier for me. I’m also curious about what he means by darkness is coming, but that’s another thing for future Remy to deal with.

"I know your heart does not belong solely to me, I made my peace with that long ago, but if you will let me be a part of your life, let me back into your heart, I will love you and treasure you with all that I am. Protect you with every tool at my disposal." He kisses me again, and I lose myself in him, forgetting any and all questions I might have in this moment, barely taking a breath when he moves me so I straddle him. His hands roam my body, lighting a fire in their path.

"I have missed you so much I cannot say, but you cannot stay here, Remy. It is not safe for us." His words bring me back to reality and I sigh. "Believe me, I dislike this as much as you do."

He chuckles, his hardness beneath me proof of his words. "I have somewhere, unknown to those who would betray us, but you should know that Roman arrived here. I know you and he… have history." His face shutters, unreadable, and I realize that beyond the dream I had with Roman, there may be more to it. "I should not say a thing, but I do not know why he would risk coming here. Not with the Elders still not scattered and especially with my clan having declared the territory. It is unusual. I am still waiting to hear from him, but I want you to be prepared if you come across him or his kind."

"Thank you," I tell him with a small smile. "My brothers told me the Dracul presence here is substantial currently, is that you too?"

"It is not. I came here because of rumors; rumors I hope cannot possibly be true. It was happenstance that we crossed paths, but I have never been so thankful to the Fates for it."

I frown, because rumors that strike fear in the heart of the King of the Dracul, the warrior who built civilizations as easily as he tore them down, is something to be afraid of, no matter what the threat.

"Is there anything I can do? Can I help?" I ask. His blue-eyed gaze meets mine, and his eyes soften.

"Not yet, my love. I do not wish to put you in any more danger than you're in until you are ready. You will kick me at that point for protecting you, I'm sure, but regardless, I will take the punishment. You are my heart, and I will always protect you, even from yourself." I sigh and lean forward, my head on his chest.

"We must not linger here, but I couldn't go any longer without seeing you. Can I see you again?" He strokes my hair and I melt against him once again.

"Of course, but I need to tell you, that Creek… he and I… it is complicated," I say quietly.

"It is always complicated, mon amour. I do not wish to share you, but if the only way I can have you is to do so, then I will."

I shake my head, the thought of it impossible. To love them both. To be able to have them both. I mean, as far as ideas go it’s not the worst. But Creek would never… he would never accept that I could love someone that he hates so much. Right?

I say nothing, just taking comfort in his arms for the small amount of time we have left together tonight.

"We must go, Remy." He says softly as his arms tighten around me.

"Okay," I agree, but I have never felt more unwilling to leave. "How will I see you again?"

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