Page 15 of Undeniable

I hoped he was right. Decker and I had met in BUDs—the three-week orientation every seal attended—and had been part of the same unit ever since. He was like a brother to me. After ten years in the Navy, Decker and I had retired from the SEALs and gone to Hudson at the same time. I couldn’t imagine watching him continue to go into the field without me.

“Is something else going on?” he asked when I didn’t respond. “Is it your dad? Did he try reaching out to you again?”

I shook my head, my shoulders slumping. Decker was one of the few people who knew about my childhood, but that wasn’t it.

When I’d finally talked to Lucy, I’d almost wished I hadn’t. My dad was dying—stage four cancer. And he wanted to see me.

Fuck that. Fuck him.

“I’m just tired. Physical therapy was exhausting.” And my session with Tatum was even more so.

“So…there’s nothing else going on?” he asked.

“Nope.” I popped the letter “p.” At least not anything I wanted to discuss.

Hell, I was almost more irritated with Decker for interrupting my reading than anything else. A snowstorm had just descended on Tracey and Ace in Alaska, and I needed to know what was going to happen.

He eyed me for a moment as if he didn’t quite believe me, but I didn’t crack. I didn’t want to talk about my feelings. I didn’t want to talk about my injury. I didn’t want to talk about the fact that Clay was right—everything with the ambassador and his family had fucked with my head.

“Katie will be there.”

“Even more reason not to go,” I muttered, reopening the book to where I’d left off. I knew if I went, we’d both drink too much and end up back in bed again.

He huffed, and I sensed he had more to say. I didn’t know what his deal was, but I was glad when he stood, returning the chair to the desk.

“You’re leading her on.”

“Who?” I frowned. “Olivia?”

He jerked his head back. “Who’s Olivia?”

“My reading buddy.” Decker had been busy with an assignment, and I’d been avoiding him and everyone else at Hudson.

“No. I was referring to Katie.”

I gnashed my teeth. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Katie knows exactly what we are. What we’ve always been. And what we will only ever be.”

“You sure about that?” he challenged.

“Oh, fuck off, Poop Deck,” I said, using his call sign.

His expression was thunderous, but he said nothing more. It was only when he’d reached the door that I wondered if I’d been too harsh. “Look,” I said, dragging a hand over my head. “I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I’ve just got a lot on my plate.”

“Yeah. We all do,” Decker said, giving me a pointed look. “But at some point, everyone is going to get sick of you pushing them away.”

It wasn’t long before I heard the front door slam shut. And then, the apartment was quiet. I sighed, not wanting to think about what Decker had said and whether he was right. Instead, I ordered some takeout and opened my book again.

It was easier than facing reality.

I read while I ate, and I stayed up way too late just to finish the book. When I finally made it to the last page, it felt as if I’d run the emotional gauntlet. I’d never felt so connected to the characters, as if they were my friends. And Ineededto talk to someone who had read it.

Huh. Maybe Violet had been onto something when she’d nominated me.I pushed that thought away. I’d met the woman only a handful of times. She didn’t know me.

I unplugged my phone from the charger and navigated to the internet browser. There was only one person I knew who might understand what I was feeling since she was a self-proclaimed bookworm. And she thought I was an arrogant—strike that, asshole, according to her—SEAL who hated reading.

Olivia’s scorn was deserved, yet I felt the need to defend myself. To prove her wrong, even if only in part. Because she was right—I had been an asshole to her. But in my defense, I hadn’t been myself. I’d had a bad mix of alcohol and pain pills, attempting to push away how upset I was after my conversation with Clay and Wyatt.

Still, I shouldn’t have taken it out on her. She didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. No one did. I wasn’t a bully, and I sure as hell didn’t want to end up like my father.

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