I get into the driver’s seat and look back at her as she lays her head on the side of the car seat. I dial Eva again and it goes straight to voicemail. I don’t bother leaving her a message, instead I hang up the phone. When we get home, I dump her bag at the door before kicking off my shoes. “Here we go,” I say, putting her down on her mat in the living room. She lets me know as soon as I step away from her that she does not want to be in the middle of the floor. Her wail fills the room as I shrug my jacket off before walking over to her and picking her up.
I put my head on hers and feel that she’s really hot. “We should take your temperature,” I tell her, walking upstairs to her bedroom. “I know it’s in here somewhere.” I pull out baskets and find the little handle thing that I’ve been using daily to make sure her temperature is normal. “Shall we?” I ask, turning it on with a button and pointing it at her forehead. I wait for the beep before looking down and seeing the color red with the temperature. “One hundred and one. Shit,” I curse, putting it down. “Okay, time to call Eva.” This time I don’t dial her phone, I call her work line.
Someone answers the phone right away. “Hey, it’s Levi, is Eva working today?”
“She is,” she confirms, “she’s with a client.”
I think about what to do next but I have no idea what to do next. “It’s sort of an emergency. Do you think I can speak with her right away?” I declare at the same time that Cici whines in my arms. “Could you just tell her I’m on the phone?”
She takes a long time contemplating and I’m about to snap at her when she says, “Please hold.”
“She told me to hold,” I fill Cici in and I swear it feels like a million years before I hear Eva pick up the phone.
“Hello,” she says breathlessly.
“Where are you?” I ask, irritated, even though I know she’s at work because I just called there. “I’ve been calling you for the past hour. The daycare called me.”
“What?” she shrieks. “Why?”
“Cici has a fever,” I tell her. “They said they tried to call you.”
“Fuck,” she hisses. “My phone was on do not disturb from last night. I must have forgotten to switch it off this morning. I’m coming.”
“No,” I say, “it’s fine. I have her and I’m home.”
“What?” Again the shriek comes out of her.
“I said I’m fine, I have her. Her fever is at a hundred and one.” I look back at Cici who puts her head on my shoulder. “I’m going to give her Tylenol, I guess, but you have to call her doctor.”
“On it,” she replies. “Do you know where the Tylenol is?”
“It’s in her bathroom, no?” I ask for confirmation, walking toward her bathroom and pulling open the mirrored medicine cabinet. “It’s in a white bottle.”
“Yes, you have to give her two point five milliliters.” I’m about to ask her how the fuck am I supposed to know what two point five is when she continues, “Shake the bottle. Squeeze the top of the bottle and when you pull it out there is a syringe attached to it. Just squeeze it into her mouth slowly.”
“Okay, I’m on it.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she mumbles and I hang up the phone.
“Good news is she is going to be here soon,” I tell Cici. “Bad news is you got me.” She doesn’t smile and her eyes look droopy. “Let’s get you some medicine.” I walk back into her bedroom and set her on her changing table. She starts to whine. “I know but I need both hands,” I explain to her, squeezing the top of the bottle like Eva says and then unscrewing it. “Now I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if this tastes good or not.” I look at the red liquid. “Let me check.” I put a bit on my finger and then taste it. “Not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and you did eat tofu the other day, so I’m thinking you can take this. But it’s going to make you feel better.” I put the tip in her mouth and she sucks on it. “See, my girl is a champ.” I praise her as I squeeze it into her mouth. I smile at her. “Now, can I change so we can go and chill on the couch?” I ask after I put the top back in the bottle. “I just need to put on my shorts and a T-shirt.”
Picking her up, I walk over to the bedroom, putting her on the closet carpet so she knows I’m not going anywhere. I grab a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and change faster than I ever have in my whole life.
She holds her hands up to me, meaning she’s over sitting on the floor as I pick her up. “How are we feeling?” I ask, walking down the stairs and toward the kitchen. “How about we get some water?” I quiz her, grabbing her little pink cup with handles on the sides. She grabs it as soon as I have it in my hand, bringing it to her mouth. I move slowly to the living room. “You know what we should do?” I sit on the couch, grabbing the remote. “Cuddle and watch television.”
Turning the television on, I lie on the couch with her on my chest. I kiss the top of her head as I flick through the channels. “It’s going to be okay,” I soothe her and she looks up at me, drool coming out of her mouth. “I bet you feel like ass right now.” She whines as she looks at me, telling me I’m right. “I probably shouldn’t say ass.” I smile as she lays her head on her arm for a second and then looks back up at me. “I bet you feel like… I can’t even say shit,” I mumble. “I bet you feel horrible.” She doesn’t answer me of course, she just rubs her face in my chest with snot all over me. “Wow.” I look down at her. “No other woman has ever gotten snot all over me.” I smile at her. “You are the first.” She smiles at me for a second before laying her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head. “It’s going to be okay.” Grabbing one of the linen covers on the couch, I lift her and then put her back down on my chest. “Don’t want you lying in snot,” I tell her as she lays her head back on my chest. I put my hand on her bum to make sure she doesn’t move. I watch television as she rests on my chest and I don’t know who falls asleep first, me or Cici.
Chapter Nineteen
Eva
I slam the car door shut and rush up the front steps. The guilt has been running through me and eating at me since he called. Fucking phone was on do not disturb, the minute I saw that, I wanted to throw the fucking thing against the wall, I was so pissed at myself. She needed me and I wasn’t there, again. I finished my client and then told Raquel to clear the rest of the afternoon. Luckily, I just hired someone new who was starting next week to help me out, so it will be a huge weight off my shoulders.
I open the front door, looking over at the couch. Literally everything in my body stops. The two of them are on the couch sleeping, Levi’s legs crossed at his ankles, the television watching the two of them. He has jumped into this whole parenthood thing with me with both feet, not even a look back. Every single day I see him with her, I’m more amazed at how wonderful he is. It also stings just a touch when I think about how good of a father he’s going to be to his own children. He may have said he is never having children, but knowing how good he’s been with Cici, I have no doubt he’s going to change his mind. I push down the bile that wants to come out of me, not ready to fully think about him having a child with someone else. Not willing to think about how this is going to be in a year from now. Not willing to admit to myself just how much I need him.
As quiet as I can, I close the door behind me, turning the knob so it doesn’t click. I kick off my heels, placing them right next to Levi’s shoes before I tiptoe into the house. Cici is on her stomach on top of his chest with her two hands fisted at her sides, the pacifier hanging loose in her mouth. Her cheeks are red and I reach out to touch her forehead softly. My eyes go from her to Levi, whose eyes now open. “Is she still hot?” he asks quietly and without moving.
“No,” I answer him with a soft smile, as he blinks his eyes a couple of times to wake up.