Page 9 of The Wrong One

We took seats on the patio, doing our very best to pretend the either didn’t exist.

“Watch!” Lily called out.

She broke out into dance. Something she often did.

“Good job!” Izzy called out as Lily twirled and did her thing.

I found myself drawn to watching Izzy watch Lily. I wondered what happened with Patrick. I knew the highlights, but she looked different. She had lost some of her shine. There was a heaviness about her that had never been there before. She looked sad. She was smiling and laughing, but I sensed a sadness about her.

Lily finished her routine, earning applause from Izzy and I. “Good job,” I told her. “You’re a natural.”

“I’m going to play!” Lily said and ran off toward the playground that looked like it belonged in a fancy park.

Just when I was about to make an excuse about why I couldn’t remain on the patio, Ramsey emerged from the house and took a seat. “Did she do her new routine?” he asked.

“She did. Izzy laughed. “I think she might just stick with the dancing a few more years.”

“She does like it.” Ramsey nodded. “But we’ll see. I just keep trying to feed her creative soul. When she gets older, she’s going to know what she does and doesn’t like. I’m hoping it will help her get focused on what she really wants to do. She won’t have to waste time trying to find her way.”

“It’s a good plan.” Izzy smiled. “We all know what it’s like to drift a little.”

“Which brings me to you,” Ramsey said.

I felt a queasiness in my belly. I knew what was coming. He was about to offer her the job. I looked for an escape. I didn’t want to be involved in this conversation. I had managed to distance myself from it. Then, when shit went bad, I could claim some kind of innocence in fucking things up. I could be the one that told Ramsey I warned him.

“What about me?” Izzy asked.

“What are your plans?” Ramsey asked. “You’ve got an apartment. You’re settling in. You seem like you’re ready to take the next step.”

“The next step?” she asked.

“What are you feeling?” Ramsey asked gently. “What direction do you want to start heading in?”

Izzy sighed. She briefly looked my way. I felt like I was watching a drama that I wasn’t really supposed to be watching. I was a Peeping Tom, looking in the windows of her life. I was suddenly very uncomfortable.

“I don’t know,” Izzy said. “I just feel kind of lost. Everything feels unpredictable and messy. Everything I thought I knew I wanted has been called into question. I’m paralyzed by how much my life has changed. I don’t know if I want to find a job doing what I did or if I want to go flip burgers or wait tables. Everything feels wrong, like I woke up in the wrong body. Maybe I was in the wrong body and now I’m in the right one. I can’t explain it. It’s just all distorted.”

I listened to her talk and had two thoughts: I wanted to pound the shit out of Patrick. And I wanted to wrap Izzy up in my arms and tell her she was too good for Patrick. She wasn’t lost. She wasn’t alone. I could be there for her. I would never do what Patrick did to her.

Then I remembered I wasn’t exactly a knight in shining armor. There were plenty of women in my past that would suggest I was a piece of shit as well. Not because I ever cheated on anyone, but I certainly never committed to any of them, which was always kind of an issue.

“I think you should come and work with us,” Ramsey said.

“What?” Izzy asked.

“Come and work with me and Cam,” Ramsey said. “It’s a similar field. You know we’ll treat you right. It’s a good way to get your footing under you again.”

Izzy looked stunned. Lily had returned and added her two cents. “You should do it!”

Izzy smiled at her. “I don’t know,” she hesitated. “You guys are doing some pretty amazing things. I just don’t know if I’m a good fit.”

“You are the perfect fit,” Ramsey said. “We’ll teach you what you need to know. You don’t need to give us a ten-year commitment. We just think you’d be a good fit. We could use your expertise. We offer competitive wages.”

Izzy looked at me, like she was waiting for me to say something. I didn’t know what to say. I was pretty sure Ramsey would kick my ass if I said what I wanted to say—no. I wanted Izzy to turn the job down. Lunch had proven just how difficult it was to be around her. I couldn’t explain why she had such a profound effect on me. She was my kryptonite. I couldn’t be around and not want her. I wasn’t allowed to have her. It was cruel to put her in my orbit and tell me not to touch.

Ramsey looked at me, frowning and making his eyes wide. He was telling me to jump in and encourage her to take the job. I just knew I was going to regret it.

“We’d love to have you work with us,” I said.

---