Page 23 of Surviving Lies

“Knew there was a reason I always liked you, Ty.” Matt smiled widely as he slapped me on the back. “Logan’s been doing great. We’ve been keeping up with his group meetings with the counselors, and they say if he keeps it up, they recommend he head back to school in the spring.” His gaze shifted toward Logan, eyes wary as he waited for the reaction to his words. Logan kept his face neutral as the three of us stood quietly for an awkward moment. Needing to break the tension, I was the one to talk next.

“That’s great to hear, Matt. It’ll be great if Logan can be back there with me.” And I meant it; I needed him there.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Maeve should be home soon. Make sure to see her before you head out, Ty. Good to see you.”

Once we were back on the couch, Logan finally seemed to relax. I gave him a minute before the inquisition.

“What was that about? I’d’ve thought you’d be looking to get back next semester.” I picked up the controller, trying to be as nonchalant as I could. Starting up a new game, we both settled in to playing. It took a few minutes for him to say something.

“I am,” he said, “but just because I want to get back there doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for me.”

I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that, but again, I decided to let it go. And a few minutes of silence passed between us as we continued with our game.

“I thought about a few things I’ve learned in my sessions,” Logan suddenly blurted out, “that might help you with Becca. If you want to hear them.” He seemed nervous to be talking about his program, his hands fidgeting with the controller but not really playing the game.

“Yeah, Logan, sure. I’d be interested in hearing about it even if it doesn’t help me.” He smiled warily at me, his nerves not yet settled. Pausing the game, we both put the controllers down. I turned myself toward him, giving my undivided attention.

“I mean, of course there’s shit that’s just about being sober. But there’s other stuff that makes you think,” he said. There was a spark to his voice when he spoke, as if the information he was learning was sinking in and motivating him. I was happy to see this Logan in front of me. “One they make us say a lot is‘I am right where I am supposed to be.’That just seems to work for you. This has happened for some reason, man. I don’t know what it is, but there’s a reason.”

What the hell could the reason for the spot I got myself in be?

“There are so many that could help, but the other I think you need to hear is ‘I am in control of my own life.’” He stopped speaking for a moment, letting the words sink in. “That one’s really hit home with me. I needed to be told that in order to take that control away from my dad. I still feel like he has control over me, even though ...” An audible swallow and sharp exhale of breath told the story of where he was with his journey and his real father. “It’s your life, Ty. You need to take some control of how it’s going to look moving forward. Don’t leave all the decisions to other people.”

Logan had trouble making eye contact when he finished talking. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed by the situations he put himself in or if he was uncomfortable being the one giving me advice.

But it was good advice. And they were words I needed to hear; he was right.

“Hey, it sounds like youaredoing better. I’m happy for you, man.” Reaching out, my arm wrapped around his wide shoulder and we did a hug thing. “I appreciate it, Logan, and you’re right. Itismy life. Deciding for myself, you’re right on that one. I need to step up and do more of that. But other lives are affected by my actions as well.”

He immediately nodded in agreement. “Of course, and I get it. But don’t let other people control the destiny of your life.”

“I will take those words under advisement.” Logan didn’t seem to want to say much more after that, and we both remained quiet, sitting on the couch together. Eventually the silence became deafening.

“So–” Logan started.

I talked over him and said, “I’m really happy for you, Logan. You definitely sound like you’re on the right track. I hope that means you’ll make it back to Blue Ridge next semester.” I stood once I realized how late it was. I still had an over two-hour drive back to campus and an early class in the morning. Logan joined me as I started up the stairs and moved toward the front door. “I miss ya, man. I really would like you back there.”

“We didn’t even have time to talk about anyone else. You sure you have to leave already?” The desperation in his voice made me sad enough to stop heading toward the door. Once at the top of the stairs, I turned his way. There was a deep sadness in his downturned eyes, almost anguish. Looking away, he tried to hide that he was lonely and missing all of us. “How’s Lanie? And Xander?”

Feeling the need to give him more of my time, I stopped in the foyer before heading out the front door. Seeing him, I knew he had more questions about Lanie than just how she was doing. I was pretty sure he still had feelings for her, but that didn’t end well for him last year. Not when his drunken-ass hands manhandled her and it sent her into a full-blown panic attack. No one had been aware yet of the extent of “damage” her ex from home had done to her. Not that it excused his behavior, but her past made it worse. And his drinking resulted from his own issues.

“They’re good. Better than me and Becca, let’s put it that way. She and I are the ones providing the drama this year.” He laughed at that, appreciating the picture it provided in his head. We continued out the door together and walked on the front path that led to my car in the street. I fiddled with my keys as my hands rested on the hood of my car, Logan on the sidewalk. “They’ve got two new roommates, Ava and Macie, that they’re becoming good friends with. You would like them.” His eyebrows rose when he mentioned the other girls, and I knew exactly where his mind went. “I won’t be a stranger, alright? I’ll be by. Keep up the good work with your counselors. I need ya there.” I slapped my hand on the hood, alerting him I was heading out.

“Thanks, man, for the visit and all,” he said.

“Hey, it was me who needed you today, not the other way around. Friends, right, man?”

His smile grew a bit as I opened the door to my car and slid in. Driving away, I saw Logan in the rearview mirror.

I thought about the words he said to me and how they might help me in my life.

Iwasin control of my own life. And I had made some terrible decisions, but now was the time to rectify some of those poor decisions and make good on them.

Giving Becca space was going to be one of the hardest things in my life. But I knew I needed to in order to win her back in the long run.

I only hoped I had the willpower to stay away from her.

Chapter 9

---