Page 60 of All My Firsts

I think I actually whimpered. But then my reflexes kicked in and I was covering myself up as my bra fell from my breasts. Being naked and exposed was never a comfort; rather, it always created terror and fear.

But looking upon Xander’s eyes as they took in my body, I felt the devotion and respect emanating from him as his fingers gently trailed down my arms.

“Please don’t. You’re so beautiful, so perfect. Every part of you I feel has been made just for me. I want to kiss and touch every inch of your body tonight.” His words evoked such emotion in me that all my walls came crashing down. I pulled my hands away from my body. And for the first time ever, I was partially naked and exposed in front of a man, and I felt free. I felt loved. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your heart,” he murmured as he stared lovingly at me.

Oh my God, this man. I knew I was falling in love with him at that exact moment, if I hadn’t alreadybeen there.

“Xander ... I ...”

“Don’t say anything right now. Sit back and let me look at you. Let me look at the most beautiful creature ever made. I can’t believe I’m the lucky bastard who gets to call you mine.”

He pulled me up to standing by my hands and moved to undo the button on my pants. He kept eye contact with me to ensure I’d be OK. I kept my eyes on his, making sure he knew I wanted him to continue with his exploration of my body. I reached out to caress his face, turned on by the light stubble lining his cheeks and jaw, wondering how it would feel if they rubbed against my thighs. He bent over to pull my jeans down and came backto standing.

“Jesus, woman, you are going to be the death of me. There’s barely a strip of cloth going up your ass. Fuckin Christ, Lanie, that’s hot.” He quickly reached around, grabbing a hold of my ass and digging his fingers in while my mouth started ravaging his neck.

I don’t know what came over me, where the impulse came from to be so bold, so brazen. But the warm feeling pooling in my core was spreading, my entire body overcome with the sensation. The need was strong. My fingers dug into him deeply, needing to hold on tight, feeling as though I were swaying from the sudden onslaught of heated passion. I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, my heated core resting on his hard length as he caught me.

“Fuck,” he growled, “you feel amazing upagainst me.”

I could tell he was trying to restrain himself fromdoing more.

He gently pushed me onto the couch. He joined me, our bodies chest to chest, as his hands continued to rove from the back of my knee, up to my hip, and aroundto my back.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, Lanie. This is going to be harder than I thought.” His mouth was leaving hot trails down my neck to the top of my breast.

“It doesn’t have to be just about me tonight, Xander.”

“Yes, it does.” He looked at me with seriousness in his eyes. I wouldn’t dare questionhis motives.

I knew he wanted to prove to me that he was the furthest thing from Max possible.

But I already knew that.

So quickly I didn’t see it coming, Xander flipped us over on the couch and I was on top, my legs straddling him. Our bodies aligned perfectly, his desire very obvious, and hard, as it pushed up against me. It created a warmth that spreadbetween us.

He reached up and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing the firm muscles of his abs leading below his pants. The moan that escaped my mouth elicited a sly grin on his lips, embarrassing me slightly. I quickly recovered as my hands were splayed across his stomach, the ridges below my fingertips hard as I made my way up to his chest. The flesh under my hands was hot and sweaty, solid as I kneaded. The tattoo teased my eyes in the dim light, his muscles flexing with every move he made.

I felt him move his hands below me, undoing his jeans, removing them underneath us. The feeling of him beneath me, with only his boxers and my thong between us, was intoxicating. His hands moved to my waist, around my back, holding me close to him, skin to skin.

What started as a warm simmer had built to a deep heat in my core. The urge to grind my legs together was suddenly strong as I struggled to close them, squirming in his lap. It was a pleasurable agony being on top of him, feeling him pushagainst me.

He pulled back, a space between us as he held me by the hips. He dug his fingers in hard, gripping me, grinding against me as I felt the evident torture over his decision to be selfless tonight. His movements created a euphoria, my mind floating, my body drifting as it reached heights it hadnever felt.

“Xander.” His name came out as a moan. “This feels ... I can’t even desc –” I couldn’t form words, my mind and body on a journey where conversation wasnot welcome.

“I love watching you and how you move. I love knowing I make youfeel good.”

I arched my back as he spoke to me, his words evoking inner feelings of desire, ones I never knew I had. His hands reached up and found my breasts, thumbs caressing their peaks. I forced myself deeper into his lap, instinctively searching for a release I didn’t know I needed.

Xander’s hand clutched my waist, curving around to the flat of my stomach, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. The anticipation of where he may wind up grew deep in my belly. Our eyes connected the moment his fingers found the strip of cloth covering me and he deftly moved it aside. My eyes went wide and my breath hitched as his fingers made quick work of finding my clit. He knew exactly what to do. As I ground my center into his hard length, his fingers rubbed and pulled. The combination sent tiny shocks coursing through me, and I needed to grab a hold of his forearms to steady myself. It was too much, the intensity of the feelings cresting inside of me.

I was flying, soaring, reaching new heights as he brought me places I never expected to go. The pinnacle was in sight. I felt it roll over me like a tide rushing the shores, rolling through my body in waves. I moved on top of him to a beat in my body, grinding as the pulsating explosions forced me to become still once I reached the top. I held on tight as I went over that edge, freefalling as I crashed tothe bottom.

My body collapsed into a heap, drained of everything it had. My breaths were ragged and hard to come by. I realized my forehead was sweaty as it rested on Xander’s shoulder, my hair stuck to the sideof my face.

And then I wasembarrassed.

Never before had I been the center of this type of attention. I didn’t know how to act afterward. My head was still on his shoulder, but my eyes wandered. I tried to steal a glimpse of him without moving.

---