Page 52 of All My Firsts

This friend boundary was forever gone.

“That would be a very big step for us. And how do you know your mom would be OKwith that?”

“Are you kidding me?” he shrieked. “First of all, she would love you. Second, she would be thrilled to have another girl in the house and not be surrounded by Bryce and me and our grossness all the time. His room is empty because he doesn’t live at home anymore, so there’s even a room for you. Lanie, it’s perfect. We would spend Christmas together. Think of all the firsts I could give you.”

His eyes were screaming with excitement while he kept the rest of his face in check. He was working hard to not get too happy before I gave him an answer. How could I say no to him? More importantly, I didn’t want to say no. He stayed a few feet from me, hesitant, waiting formy response.

But this was a huge step. Spending a whole month together, in the same house, was a far cry from just stepping out of the friend zone. This was long-term relationship zone. I knew my hesitation to answer him was making him upset and nervous at the same time, but I wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do. But to be honest, where else would I really want to be? I feared if I went home with Becca instead, I would spend the month missing Xander anyway; I missed him here at school if I didn’t see him fora few hours.

Oh my God, this was crazy.

“Xander, I would love to spend Christmas with you.” He ran toward me, picked me up, and spun me around in circles until I was dizzy and laughing out loud. “You’re very good at keeping your promises, ya know.”

“What promise is that, babe?” he said while smiling hard as he put me down on the ground. I would never tire of seeing thatdeep dimple.

“You’re showing me what a real boyfriend is like. And you’regood at it.”

“Lanie, this is only the beginning, babe.” His hands were on my face again, looking in my eyes. “Give me time. I’m going to sweep you off your feet in more ways than one.”

Chapter 14

“Lanie, turn that up. I love that song!”

We were driving back to school after our weekend home for Thanksgiving, sitting in a ton of traffic on the interstate. We were making the best of it by blasting our music and singing our hearts out. The people in all the cars around us were staring at us, but we didn’t care. It was helping pass the time, and we were having fun.

These past few days had done wonderful things for my and Becca’s friendship. It had become strained by the stressful situations we had all endured the past weeks. But with no schoolwork, no guys, and good food, all we did was focus on us and just being goofy friends. And she helped me forget about all the crap going on withmy parents.

“I’ve missed hanging out with the guys, Becca. I hope we can start doingthat again.”

She looked over at me with a huge grin on her face. “Lanie, that made my day, girl! I want that, too! Will Xander be OK with that, though? I know he’s not Logan’s biggest fan, and I don’t blame him one bit.” The traffic finally started moving again.

“No, he’s not, but I think he’ll be understanding enough about the fact that I want to hang out with my friends. Do you think the five of us could maybe do more things together?” I snuck a look at her to see her reaction, wondering if she thought that could work. Even though Xander and I were keeping us a “secret,” Becca wasn’t dumb. She knew there was something between us even before I did.

“Maybe. We could give it a shot and see. I wonder if those two can be in each other’s presence.”

I didn’t miss her eye roll before I responded. “Ya know, we did all eat together a couple weeks ago.” The reminder didn’t do much to change her mind.

“Yeah and look how well that went. Logan sat in the corner pouting while Xander spent the entire time clinging to you and puffing out his chest.” She wasn’t wrong, but I had faith that they’d both moved on a bitsince then.

A little while later, we finally pulled into the lot behind our dorm. I couldn’t wait to get upstairs to see if Xander was back.

Imissed him.

A lot.

I didn’t expect to have those feelings. Missing someone was not a part of my history. Rather, any time spent apart was welcomed and cherished. If Max was gone for a weekend with his dad for something, I felt like I could ... breathe.

Complete opposite this go-round. Every time I got a text, instead of the dread I would normally feel, I was excited, hoping it was from Xander. I felt lost without him, counting the minutes until our return. Well, in my head, anyway. I enjoyed my time with Becca and didn’t want her to feel I was not appreciative of herhospitality.

But I couldn’t wait to get back to school.

After lugging my bag off the elevator, I rounded the corner, hoping to see his door open, but it wasn’t. I hid my disappointment from Becca since we were still trying to be somewhat quiet about the status of us. Becca and I continued to our room and commenced unpacking.

“Ty and Logan are going to come by.Is that OK?”

“Sure, I’d love to see them.” And I meant it. It was amazing to feel so positive about things. This was new for me. “We need to eat. Let’s go get dinner, just like old times.” I smiled as I hung up clothes in my closet.

“Sounds perfect, Lanie. I’ll text Ty.”

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