Page 45 of All My Firsts

Lena’s eyes shot up at this. Then we heard lots of people yelling in the hall and mutterings and curses being thrown around. Lena went toward the lock as if she was going to open it, andI panicked.

“Please don’t!”

“I promise, if anyone is close by, I’ll shut it immediately and lock it right up.”

She opened it a crack and looked out. She opened it more, pushing her head out for a better look. She snapped her head back in the room, her eyes wide when she turned around.

“Guys, Xander’s entire frat is here in the hall,” she whispered, “and they have bats and pipes with them!” She quickly pulled the door closed as noises seemed toget closer.

There were still lots of curses being thrown around, and we heard shuffling and what sounded like someone being thrown against a wall, maybe. I continued to sit with my hands over my ears. I couldn’t stand hearing any of this going on with Xander out there with him.

Next thing I knew, Xander was throwing the door wide open, looking around the room, running for me as soon as he saw me. He pulled me in for a hug, then pushed me at arm’s length to look me over. He was shaking uncontrollably, either out of fear or anger – or both.

“Are you OK?”

I nodded.

He held me close, and I felt his words up against my cheek.

“I will go to the ends of the earth to keep him away from you. I hope you’re starting to understand that.”

I nodded again.

I wasstarting to.

Chapter 12

“So, it sounds like we have a lot to tell each other.”

Becca and I were in our room together after she and the guys returned. She’d heard some rumblings from people on the floor about the craziness that took place while they were gone. There was no way to avoid telling her about Max any longer. It sounded like there was a story from her weekend as well.

“I heard your asshole boyfriend from home actually did show up here this weekend. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you with that, but it was good to get Logan away. I don’t think it would have been good for them to have met.” She gave me a knowing look, understanding Logan was better, but not great.

“It was a challenging weekend, I’ll put it that way. We had a lot of help from people on the floor and Xander’s frat. We got through it without Max seeing me. So that was good.” Becca’s face contorted when I paused, and I was sure she didn’t grasp the intensity of what had really happened here. “Unfortunately, a lot of people here got to see the shit I have to deal with. He was on full display with the tantrums he pulls when he doesn’t get his way, and it’s not fun. I’m thankful for the guys being able to scare him off.”

I was trying to keep the story to a minimum, not ready to divulge my secrets to her about my relationship with him. I was embarrassed to be in such a situation and not be able to get out of it, even with such distancebetween us.

“I’m hoping he takes the hint and leaves me alone now, but that’s not in his nature. He doesn’t give up what he considers ‘his’ that easily. Ya know, we told him I was at your house for the weekend to make him think I wasn’t anywhereon campus.”

“That was smart.” Becca was sitting on her bed, me on mine. She wasn’t making direct eye contact with me, and her words were clipped. All of this was odd behavior for her. It made me think things were still a bit strained between us. I didn’t necessarily mind that she seemed distracted. I didn’t need her to know much about what happened anyway.

“Lanie, listen, I’m sorry about how all of this is happening. I feel like we have so much going on at the same time around us, so many balls to juggle between Max and Logan. And now you’ve got Xander to consider, and I have Ty to think about. It’s a lot right now.” She seemed more nervous about this than I was hoping for. “Logan’s OK, but not as good as we’d like. Apparently, he had some issues coming into college. It’s not all stemming from you. I don’t want you to feel guilty about it. But I guess this is putting him over theedge a bit.”

Becca looked really worried now. I moved in to console her, to comfort her the way she had for me so many times. She accepted it immediately, the hug tighter than I expected as I rubbed her back.

“Becca, we’ll figure this out. We do have a lot going on, but this is life. Xander is helping me realize I can’t go through my life alone, can’t face what I’m facing without help. So I’m glad Logan has you and Ty as his support, because he obviously needs it. And you and I have eachother, too.”

She pulled away, looking at me now, nodding in agreement. Her somber demeanor hadn’t changed much, but her smile showed hope that the Becca I knew and loved wasn’t far away.

“I like hearing you talk about Xander and what he’s doing for you, Lanie. That makes me happy,” she said with a wide smile. “I’d love to hear more about the time you spent together this weekend. I honestly don’t care about the ‘asshole.’ You can tell me more about him if you want, but I really just want to hear about you and Xander. Your face lights up when you say his name.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. I gave hera shy smile.

“So, I know it’s really important for Logan to talk to you. He needs to, so I hope you’ll let him do that soon.” I think that was what had been weighing on her this whole time. Her eyes implored for a response that would be beneficial for her and Logan.

“I can definitely do that. I think I need that, too. I need to go back to the way things were, or something close to it. Please tell him to come find me whenhe’s ready.”

I felt like I was ready. For whatever reason, after facing Max this weekend and surviving it, I felt stronger. So why not faceLogan, too?

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