Page 38 of All My Firsts

“I’m coming up with a plan. Don’t worry your pretty little head – I’ll have it all covered. I promise. How about we head out to do something this afternoon, though, before we get stuck in this room for a while. I have something real quick to run out and do, but then let’s go for a walk.Sound good?”

We seemed like we were exiting the “friend zone” quickly; these were very close to relationship-status activities. But we were going to be spending the next three to four days together, nonstop; by default, that took us out of that zone.

And that made me very nervous.

But also excited.

I found the remote and settled in with an old episode ofNew Girlto watch while I waited for Xander to return. It wasn’t long before he was back with his arms full of bags of what looked like groceries.

“I thought if we’re going to be in here for a few days, we need lots of snacks to help with our binge-watching of TV and movies.” He had a huge grin on, and it appeared as though he was sincerely looking forward to our prison term in his room. He started unpacking the hordes of snack foods and drinks onto the shelves byhis fridge.

“Grab your sweatshirt. You might need it on our walk.” He grabbed his backpack and my hand and walked us out the door.

We walked toward the pond, which put a smile on my face. It had quickly become one of my favorite places on campus. I loved the serenity it offered, plus the views of the mountains in the distance. Once we got there, Xander started taking some snacks out of his backpack.

“You packed us a picnic?” I asked with such surprise in my voice he had to stop andlook at me.

“Have you never gone on a picnic, Lanie?”

I shook my head.

“Well, then I guess I’ve given you another first,haven’t I?”

I couldn’t put into words the emotions that were swirling around inside of me at that moment. Happy, hopeful, thankful, even optimistic. The problem was, I had no idea what all of them together could mean. No one had ever made me feel this way, and to be feeling these things with the impending doom approaching – well, that was downrightwitchcraft.

We flapped the blanket in the air together, and it sank to the groundgracefully.

“So, what will it be? Chocolate pudding, potato chips, or a turkey sandwich? I was limited in what I could grab from the cafeteria, but we’ll make do with what we’ve got, right?” He pulled the food out of the bag with precision, placing each item on the blanket in front of us as if presenting a feast. “I don’t know about you, but the pudding is looking mighty good!” All I could do was stare at his dimple as he lay back on his side while throwing his head back and laughing about pudding.

“How are you so relaxed right now? This is such a mess we’re in, that I’ve put you right in the middle of, and you’re laughing about pudding. I wish I could be more like you, Xander. I wish I could learn to relax and live life more.” I was on my back and looking up at the blue sky. It was getting dark already, probably only about thirty minutes before sunset considering how late in the season it was.

“Lanie, c’mere. Come lie closer to me.” He pulled me to lie on my side facing him. His hand pushing the hair behind my ear and lingeringon my cheek.

“I know you’re worried about this weekend, and I’m not taking it lightly, trust me. I am fully prepared to keep you safe if that monster shows up. And I still feel responsible for him even coming. But on the flip side, I’m thankful he’s given me the opportunity to spend this time with you. We have this found time together we wouldn’t have had.”

He stopped for a moment, his hand now moving from my cheek down along my jaw.

“I’m going to take full advantage of this to show you how a real guy should be treating you. You have no idea what being in a relationship really is. So, when you say you’ve had a boyfriend, I say bullshit. I say no, you haven’t. He was nothing but a coward who had no idea what he had in front of him all those years and has lost forever. And I’m hoping to gain whathe’s lost.”

Does swooning still happen in the twenty-first century?

Or while you’relying down?

Because if so, I was swooning right then. My God, those words went right to my soul. If I didn’t know better, I would think he had been reading some of my romance novels on my e-reader. I actually got a little embarrassed by his declaration and had to close my eyes and turn my head away. He gently turned my face backtoward his.

“Hey, look at me. Don’t shut me out, please.”

“I’m not, I promise. I’ve just never had anyone say anything like that to me before and I really don’t know how to handle it or respond. You seem too perfect to me, Xander. I’m lying here thinking I don’t deserve you; I don’t deserve everything you’re sacrificing or doing for me. But I’m no less thankful for it. I need you to know that. From the bottom of my heart,thank you.”

We lay on the blanket, quiet for a while, both of us staring up at the sky. We were simply enjoying the peace of our surroundings. I think we realized that the next few days might be a bit stressful.

“So, can I ask you a question?” I broke the silence with ashaky voice.

“Sure,what’s up?”

“You don’t have a, um, girlfriend, right?”

He turned on his side to face me before answering. “I’ve only been with two girls since coming to BRU, and neither were a serious thing. No, I don’t have a girlfriend. Never thought I wanted one.” He went back to looking to the sky, avoiding looking at me aftersaying that.

---