Page 86 of All My Firsts

If I went to him, I knew I wouldn’t come back. This was it; he was going to take me back to Texas, and all my efforts would be null and void.

But he wasn’t only threateningme anymore.

I knew I had to,for Xander.

I got up from my bed and tried to make it look like I was going for a run, hoping Becca wouldn’t ask too many questions.

But no, then I couldn’t grab anything but my earbuds, and I wanted to take more of my things with me if I was leaving. Then I thought I could say I was going to the library to study. That way I could at least bring a backpack full of mybelongings.

It was then I realized I’d been aimlessly walking around the room with no real purpose, and Beccatook notice.

“Lanie, you OK? What are you doing?” She didn’t give me much of a different look now than any other she had in recent days. Grave concern was always across herface lately.

“Umm, I don’t know. I feel like I need to get out of here. I was either going to go for a run or maybe the library, not sure.” I was stalling, still trying to figure it all out, when another text came through.

“It’s too dark for a run, Lanie.” Becca was going to make thishard for me.

Max:

The clock is ticking, I wouldn’t take much longer Lanie you don’t want me or any of my guys coming up there for you because there will be a scene with you and him

I needed to respond; I needed more time.

Me:

I’m coming, I need a minute, please don’t come up, trying to get away from my roommate

“Who are you texting?”

I jumped, not expecting Becca to be right over my shoulder. “Oh, it’s no one, just someone from class. That’s who I might meet at the library to study with. I need to get out of here, ya know?” I was filling my backpack, trying to decide what to grab, when she reached for my hands.

“How aboutwego get some food first? You haven’t eaten in a long time. Then you can meet your friend. Have them give you an hour.” Her eyes were pleading with me.

“Um, I’ll grab something to munch on while I’m there. I still don’t really have an appetite, ya know, with everything going on. How about a late dinner when I get back? You, me, and the guys?”

Thankfully, she backed away. “Sure,” Becca said, sounding hurt.

If it helped keep her safe, it was worth it, but I hatedhurting her.

But then my phone pinged again.

Bryce:

LATE INTEL!!! MAX IS ON HIS WAY – COULD ALREADY BE THERE!

Well, the FBI blew this one; they were a little too late. But it gave me some hope knowing that Bryce and help were on their way. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to face Max alone down there. I just needed them to makeit on time.

But in case they didn’t, I grabbed my laptop and stuffed it, and some essentials, into my backpack. I made my way to the door but then stopped.

Suddenly, the thought of maybe never seeing her again was heart-wrenching. So quickly she had woven herself into the fabric of my life, becoming important to my daily existence.

I couldn’t make this awkward by saying a goodbye. She would know something was up. Turning to take one last look at her, I memorized the image of her on her bed, earbuds in, listening to music while on her computer.

I wanted to run and give her a hug.

I wanted to tell her no one else could have done for me whatshe’d done.

I wanted to tell her I would neverforget her.

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