Page 98 of One Touch

She was right, but I was too fucked up to give in to the dream of having her forever.

I had always known that I had some dreams that would come true and some that wouldn’t, but I slowly realized that what I could give her would only hurt her in the long run.

“I’m not the one you marry.”

Her eyes flew to mine and simmered with unshed tears that were a knife to my gut. I tracked one finger along her jaw, moving the hair back so I could see her face. “But, Katie-girl, if I was the marrying kind, there wouldn’t be anyone else.”

She swatted my hand away as she stepped away from me in disgust, the loss of her heat already chilling my bones.

“Don’t you dare,” she whispered. “Don’t you dare make this harder on me, just to make yourself feel better.”

I braced my hands on the kitchen island and dropped my chin. Every possible scenario for how this could play out ran through my head. My mind snagged on the very likely scenario where she got smart and left me. My stomach pitched and rolled.

I stood, unable to move, despite knowing the words that could get her back. Words that screamed inside me but wouldn’t come out.

Instead, I didn’t say anything at all as I watched the best thing I’d ever had walk out of my front door.

THIRTY-THREE

KATE

“I’m so embarrassed.I’m an idiot.” I closed my eyes and sighed into the phone. The call with Sophie and Gemma was the only thing holding me together.

“You are NOT an idiot. He’s the idiot.”Sweet, fierce Sophie.

Gemma snorted. “Amen, sister. I can’t believe he didn’t stop you from walking out.”

“It’s my own fault. I knew from the beginning this was just a hookup, and I had to go and catch feelings and imagine it was more than it was. Typical Kate.”

“Stop that shit,” Gemma interjected.

Frustrated, I fought the tears that burned behind my eyelids. “I’m serious. Why am I like this? At first it was sexy and so wrong that I couldn’t help but find it hot. Then I had to go and fall inlovewith the guy. It’s like a pathetic repeat of Declan, and it makes me sick.”

“Only he’s not Declan. He fell in love too. Don’t forget that.” Gemma was strong, and I leaned into her strength.

“I know. He’s not. And I thought his feelings were changing, but now ... I don’t know. Maybe I imagined all that too.”

“His choices don’t lessen your value, Kate.”

“Thanks, Soph.”

“Seriously. If he doesn’t realize what he had, then he needs to wake the fuck up.” Gemma huffed a breath through the phone. “And if he doesn’t, there’s only one thing to say.”

Oh boy ...

“Fuck that guy.”

* * *

Fuck that guy.

I rehearsed the words in my head over and over, but despite how much I wanted to believe them, they always fell flat.

A cavern opened in my stomach as I left Beckett’s beach house the night before. I hadn’t allowed myself to think past the renovation, and now that it was completed, there was nothing. With him, I was lost in a bubble of deliciously rough sex and tender touches, laughter, and teasing banter. I let myself hide where it was safe and comforting.

It no longer mattered to me that he was my ex-boyfriend’s brother, or that he was Duke’s best friend. I had already endured a few judgmental stares and headshakes from the gossips in town, but it hadn’t mattered.

Beneath his surly attitude and pigheadedness was a man who was alone. Someone who tried desperately to measure up and always felt as though he came up lacking. It hadn’t mattered that the Sullivans cared for him over the years or that they’d practically adopted him while I’d been living in Montana.

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