Page 99 of One Touch

He couldn’t see it, and it wasn’t something I could fix.

A lump lodged in my throat, and tears burned at the corners of my eyes. When I had asked Beckett to define what we were, I already knew the truth.

He loved me.

Only he was too fucking scared to admit it. Too afraid that he couldn’t measure up to put himself out there.

Despite how hurt I had been, I was still sosadfor him.

Thinking back, none of it had worked out like it was supposed to. Returning to my hometown and falling for a rugged contractor should have been easy, like it was in a romance movie.

He’d smile. I’d swoon. We’d live happily ever after. Boom. Roll credits.

Only we’d still been tangled up in our own bullshit and forgot to sort it out before we both blindly dove in headfirst. A part of me knew, deep down, that Sophie was right.

I deserve better than that. We both do.

Which was why I was freezing my ass off and trudging my way up Main Street. I’d made a plan and needed to walk it out in order to gather the shreds of courage I would need to actually execute it.

As I walked down Main Street, I bundled up my coat and scarf, taking in the sights and sounds of my hometown of Outtatowner during Christmastime. The air was crisp, and fat snowflakes gently fell from the winter sky, covering the town in a blanket of white.

Each storefront was decorated with twinkling lights, and wreaths adorned the doors. The town square was transformed into a winter wonderland, complete with an ice-skating rink and a towering Christmas tree.

Case in point: perfect Hallmark holiday movie.

I pushed thoughts of Beckett to the back of my mind as I took in the sights and sounds of my hometown. I felt a sense of comfort that I had never experienced anywhere else. It was like the town itself was wrapping its arms around me, welcoming me home and comforting me with open arms.

I couldn’t help but smile as I passed by the Sugar Bowl, where the scent of freshly baked gingerbread cookies wafted out onto the street. Through the huge glass window, I saw Huck and waved at him. He gestured for me to come in, maybe even warm up with a hot cup of coffee, but I only waved and burrowed myself more tightly into my coat and scarf as I kept walking toward the lake.

The snowflakes were beginning to stick to the ground, creating a soft crunch underfoot as I continued down the sidewalk. The town was truly transformed during the holiday season, and I couldn’t help but feel grateful for this time with my family.

Everywhere I looked, there were reminders of the memories I had made in this town, with the people who had always been there for me, even when I had left. The Christmas decorations that adorned the lampposts and the storefronts were a reminder of the years of holiday seasons I had spent here with my family and friends.

As I walked, I couldn’t help but feel like I was exactly where I was meant to be. Despite the heartache I was feeling over Beckett, being home in Outtatowner filled me with a sense of peace that I couldn’t find anywhere else. It was a feeling of belonging that I had never experienced anywhere but here, and I knew that no matter where life took me, Outtatowner would always be my home.

I paused and looked around me, taking in the beauty of the town. Being the offseason, the only cars that passed were those of townies. The holiday lights sparkled like diamonds, and the festive music that played in the background filled me with joy.

I took a deep breath and looked around. The town was so quaint and charming, and there was something about the small-town atmosphere that made me feel comforted and at peace. I knew that I was exactly where I was meant to be.

A pang of sadness and loneliness washed over me.

As I continued my walk, I smiled at the shop owners and exchanged pleasantries with the locals. Despite fault lines drawn between Kings and Sullivans, everyone knew each other, and that sense of community was something that I had always treasured.

When my face froze in the bitter cold and my hands were ice, I trudged through the snow toward Beckett’s house.

With a frozen fist, I knocked on the door and sucked in an icy breath.

THIRTY-FOUR

BECKETT

I hate this house.

When a knock sounded at the door, I was pulled from my spiraling thoughts. I’d made a mess with Kate, acted like a fool, and had done nothing to stop her from walking out.

I pulled open the front door, and when I saw her, wide eyed and shivering, I pulled her inside. “What the hell are you doing?”

My arms banded around her, and I tortured myself with a hit of her floral shampoo before releasing her.

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