Page 5 of The Girl I Once Loved

It’s that same darkness that runs through my veins now and coaxes me to follow Gael as he retreats back into the bedroom.

“What’s so bad about wanting to fight? Maybe fighting with the person you’re in a relationship with is a sign that you still give a fuck?” I shout at the top of my lungs.

“I hate it when you’re vulgar. It’s beneath you, that type of crass talk.” He shakes his head, disappointed.

"Well, I hate your holier than thou attitude.”

“Are we really doing this, Skylar?” he asks, his warm brown eyes saddened. “Is this really what you want? To fight with me?”

“I don’t see anyone else around.” I shrug.

“I refuse to be your punching bag just because you’re angry with yourself.”

“Me?” My eyes widen. “Why would I be angry withme?”

“Because your sister just called to say that she was getting married, and you have no idea how to get out of it without breaking her heart. That’s your baggage, Skylar. Not mine,” he snaps, going straight to the route of my pain before grabbing his discarded pants and putting them on.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he rebukes. “I’m going home before you say something we'll both regret.”

I jump to the bed and snatch his shirt away from him before he has time to put it on.

“No. You’re staying here so we can talk,” I order furiously.

“We’re not talking, Skylar. You’re yelling and I’m trying very hard not to.”

“Then yell! Shout! Show some kind of emotion!”

“Why would I when you have more than enough for the both of us,” he replies, grabbing his jacket and putting it on, forgoing his shirt. He then begins to look for his shoes and socks, sitting on the bed after he finds them to put them on.

I sit back on my heels on top of the bed and just stare at his back.

“God. You really don’t have it in you, do you? Is there nothing that sets you off?”

Gael stops what he’s doing and turns around, grabbing my face in his soft hands.

“You want to know what sets me off, Skylar?” he says softly, staring deep into my eyes. “The fact that my girlfriend of three years still refuses to live with me sets me off. Or the fact that the woman I love still can’t say she loves me back. And don’t even get me started on how angry I am that we’re fighting right now just because you need someone to put your frustrations on, just because you’re too scared to go back to Thatcher’s Bay. For a reason I still don’t fully understand. All those things set me off, Skylar. But I’m fuckinghere. I’m fucking doing the work to keep our relationship going.”

My throat burns at the way his eyes water in suffering—suffering that I’ve caused him.

“If it’s this hard for you, then why are you still here?” I ask bitterly, hating that I’m pushing him away instead of easing his pain.

“I ask myself that question every day,” he confesses despondently. “I was hoping one day you’d prove to me that this was all worth it.”

The love in his eyes strangles my heart to the point of pain.

“Maybe I’m not worth it,” I whisper, the fight in me long gone.

He leans his head into mine and breathes me in.

“You’re worth it, Skylar. But I’m starting to realize that maybe you don’t think that I am.”

He presses a kiss to my temple and then abruptly pulls away and stands up.

“Gael,” I begin to plead softly, my rage completely extinguished. I open my mouth to tell him not to go, but he beats me to the punch and pulls the rug right out from under me with his next words.

“I think maybe we need a break.”

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