“What?” I croak out in disbelief.
Gael runs his fingers through his disheveled hair, gaining courage to continue.
“I’ll probably regret this in the morning, but something is off between us. And if I’m being truly honest with myself, it’s been off from the get-go. I tried to make excuses for your inability to commit to me. That it’s an Ames sisters flaw, sprung up from your parents’ divorce. I kept telling myself that you were hurt once before and that it would take time for you to trust again. But I’ve been here, Skylar. I’ve been here waiting for you to let me in. To be in this with me,” he says, letting out an exhale. “But I’ve always felt that I got the ghost of you. Just a sliver of what your love could actually feel like. I’m tired of dating a ghost, Skylar. I want a woman who loves me as much as I love her. And though I love you with every fiber of my being, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to love me the same way.”
We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. I know he’s waiting for me to deny everything he just said. On bated breath he waits, and my heart breaks as I watch Gael clinging to hope, holding on to it so tightly that if he lets go, he’ll shatter into a million pieces.
If I tell him that I love him, he’ll stay.
If I tell him that I love him, he’ll come back to bed and hold me tight, promising to never let me go.
Just say it, Sky!
Just tell him that you love him.
But the words remain lodged in my throat, unwilling to come out.
Because I know the truth.
Gael is a gentle wind determined to breathe life and light into the world, while I’m a furious storm intent on destroying everything in its path.
Gael would never survive me.
When he realizes that I’m not going to say anything, he bows his head and takes in a fortifying breath before meeting my eyes again.
“A break will do us both some good,” he says, trying to convince himself more than me. “It will give us some perspective.”
The only perspective Gael will get from time apart is the realization that he’s too good for me.
“For whatever it’s worth, I think you should go to Daisy and be at your sister’s side. You’ll regret it if you don’t,” he adds solemnly, and when he begins to pass me by, I jump off the bed and step in his way to stop him from leaving.
“Gael,” his name comes out desperate and wrong. “Don’t do this.”
He cups my cheeks in his palms and broken-heartedly looks me in the eye.
“I love you, Skylar. So much. But I need more. I need more than you’re willing to give.”
“What if I can’t?” I choke on a sob.
“You can. I know you can. I just wish you could with me.”
He then leans in and softly brushes his lips to mine. It’s only as I watch Gael leave my apartment, that I admit to myself that I’ll never be able to love him like he deserves.
I’ll never be able to love like anyone.
And that all comes down tohim.
The reason why I never intended to return to Thatcher’s Bay.
Not even for my sister’s wedding.
After all these years,hestill manages to ruin every good thing in my life.
Spoiling every memory. Every hope and dream.
How I hatehimfor it.
But Gael is right.