The fifth week after the assault, I was feeling stronger. I was experiencing some good days again.
Even though I was doing better, I was confused about Cole. Since he’d admitted his feelings for me, he’d barely touched me. Most days, I would get a sweet kiss on the forehead and long hugs, but nothing else. I didn’t understand, except that his feelings had changed and were more from a place of pity and guilt than caring about me as a girlfriend. Maybe in his opinion, I was damaged goods. Broken and tarnished.
I slept next to Cole in his bed at night, but he stayed on his side with his hands resting on his chest or stomach. Regardless of whether he realized it or not, he was crushing my heart. I thought things between us were going to be different. They were different, all right, but not how I’d expected.
Plus, I couldn’t get away from him here. I was barely allowed to use the bathroom without him following me, worry in his attentive watch. The house was small, but he also followed me when I went outside for fresh air. His hovering was driving me insane.
The soft creak of the bedroom door opening pulled me from my thoughts, and I threw the blankets over my head, hoping Cole would understand and leave me alone.
“You need to get up, Shae. Zoe is messaging me, worried about you. Have you not talked to her recently? I’m not sure you two have ever gone a week without talking.” Cole sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.
“I don’t want to speak to anyone.”
I heard Cole sigh. “Talk to me, Shae.”
Confused, I tossed the comforter off and sat up. His gaze flashed darkly, and I pinned him with an accusing scowl as a swell of anger and hurt swallowed me.
“Talk to you?” I snorted. “You mean about how I’m frustrated that you don’t want me anymore? One minute you say I’m yours, and now that I’m damaged goods, you’re no longer interested in me?”
His head snapped my way, his eyes wide and filled with caution. “You’ve got it all wrong.” He rose and tugged on the collar of his T-shirt.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me. You wanted me to tell you what was up, so let’s do this.” I stood on the bed, my pale pink tank and pajama short set slightly twisted around my waist. “Say something to me, dammit!” Rage sizzled beneath the surface, battling with sorrow and disappointment, and my fists clenched into tight balls.
Cole walked to the bedroom door, then glanced over his shoulder at me. “You’ll never be damaged goods to me, Shae. Never.” Pain slashed across his face, and a muscle clenched in his jaw.
My pulse spiked. “What does that mean? You do realize people talk to each other, and not in half-assed riddles. Like adult conversation.” I jumped off the bed, hauling ass down the hall after him. Apparently, I’d reached my limit with the guessing game Cole was playing, and I was about to end it. He could tell me what in the hell was going on, or I was out of here. I would stay with Daddy, and if he said no, I would hide out at Zoe’s.
Cole walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and produced a beer. He twisted the top off, then tossed it on the counter. The lid bounced and pinged off the granite, finally wobbling on one side before it stopped. Taking a long drink, he sat down on a barstool at the island, his lips pursing.
“Great, you can’t even talk to me unless you have alcohol.” Frustration and hurt coursed through my veins. I’d been through too much to risk being damaged by him any longer. “I’m done. You can take me home, or I’ll walk, but either way …” I glared at him. “I’m finished.” I stomped off toward the hall.
Before making it very far, Cole grabbed my arm and whirled me around. “You’re not fucking going anywhere, and you’re definitely not done.” His blue eyes were full of fire and determination.
My breath hitched with the depth of his stare. For the first time in weeks, I felt as though he was seeing me again, not just the shell of a girl I’d become lately.
“Then you better start talking,” I hissed.
He placed his palm on the wall over my head, never taking his gaze from mine. “You have no idea how bad I want you, but I’ll hurt you, and I can’t.”
My brows knitted in confusion. “What do you mean?”
He looked away, then back to me. “What kind of man asks to be with you after you’ve lived through an assault and trauma?” He skimmed his knuckles down my cheeks. “It fucking kills me not to touch you, but I’m afraid I won’t stop until my cock is buried inside you. Then I lay awake at night, watching you sleep, and wondering if you’re having nightmares about what that sick bastard did to you. All I want is to put a smile on your beautiful face again, but I …”
“What is it?” I placed my palm on his chest, feeling his heart thump against my palm. “Cole, don’t shut me out.”
His head hung down, and he pressed his forehead against mine. “Dammit.” He dropped his hand and backed away. “Maybe you staying here isn’t a good idea … for either of us.” His shoulders slumped, then he stalked off.
A frustrated and fury-driven scream tore from my throat as I shoved him. He stumbled forward, and I took advantage of the moment and punched him in the back. Cole whirled around, shock registering in his features. I hit him in the chin, then in the stomach. My fists flew faster than they ever had as I wailed on him.
“Shae, calm down.”
Ignoring him, I brought my fist back and aimed for his face. His hand shot in front of mine, blocking me before I made contact with his mouth.
“Goddammit, Shae! Stop!”
“I hate you, Cole. I fucking hate you.” My hot, anger-fueled tears fell, and I swiped at them.
Cole crouched down and picked me up, catching me completely off-guard. He sat me down on the top of the island, then grabbed my wrists. My stomach dropped, my breathing became labored, and butterflies scattered in my chest as his gaze rested on my lips.