Page 126 of I Got You

The fact that she got up without needing me to wake her tells me she’s stepping away, and I can’t have that. I need to see her. To talk to her. To understand where she’s at and try to figure out what she thought she’s likely determined to stop thinking.

As I approach the studio, I hear the music. It’s soft and gentle and not what I’d expect from what I know about Danny and this show. My mind flashes to the dance floor last night. Holding her in my arms, her head against my chest, and feeling like there was no safer place in the world. Now, I feel like the foundation of us, whatever we’ve built together, has shifted, and I’m scared it’s irreparable. That she’s finally given up on me and ready to move on.

I stop at the window and watch her dance as my nerves twitch with uncomfortable energy. My tight muscles relax as I watch. She’s…beautiful. Breathtaking. The way she moves is effortless. I’ve seen her dance, but not like this. I could watch her all day.

I don’t know anything about dancing, but Maggie moves like the song was made for her. When she slows and the final notes of the music fade, she leans forward, catching her breath, and I see the damp streaks down her face. I have to make this right. There’s no other choice. I can’t go back to a life without Maggie and the kids in it.

I give her just a second before I enter. I’m determined to get her to forgive me and show her I’m still right here with her and not going anywhere if she’ll have me.

When she hears me, Maggie glances up from her crouched position.

“Hey.” Her tentativeness tugs those knots in my stomach even tighter. Her fire is still missing, and its absence sends a rush of fear through me. I know it flickers in her belly until someone pours gasoline on it. I want to find it and be the oxygen that sets it ablaze with honesty, passion, and desire.

“Hey.” I know I need to say more, but all I can focus on is her eyes, which are red from the tears I’ve no doubt she doesn’t want me to see. “I uh…I wanted to talk with you before I have to be at the stadium. I hate what happened last night.”

She pushes up to stand. “It’s ok. You should focus on the game. It’s important.”

“This is important.” Her cool words sting. I swallow down the coffee I tried to drink that’s making its way back up. “Maggie, I know I already said it, but I’m sorry. I’m even more sorry about the timing, so I’ll call them….”

She holds up her hand and cuts me off. “No. No, you’re not. This could be an amazing opportunity for you, and you aren’t going to miss it. I needed a minute to process, and I’m done now.”

“They want me out there the same day as your show. I’m not missing it.”

I don’t know anything about relationships, but this feels a hell of a lot like she’s pushing me away, and it’s as if an alarm system starts blaring throughout my body. A cool sheen of sweat covers my skin as my chest thumps with the strength of a rubber mallet. I fist my hands and clench my jaw, willing it to stop.

“Yes, you are.” Her calmness is agitating, and that fear of her stepping away from me is growing by the second. My fingers itch to grab her, hold her, and make her promise not to leave me, but I resist the urge. “This show is not as important as the rest of your career. This is me fulfilling a dream I thought I wanted. It’ll be fun and an accomplishment, but it won’t change my future.”

I know she’s downplaying the importance of this and how big of a deal it really is, but I let that go for now.

Her head falls to the side. “I’m not saying it’s not a big deal. It is, but it’s not the same as continuing to live out your dream in the way you can. You need to go see what these guys have to offer. It could be huge.”

I suck in a quick breath. My dry throat aches. “I don’t even know if I’m ready for it or if I want it. I thought I’d be signing another contract here for next season.”

She forces a small, dull smile. “Exactly. You aren’t going to know unless you go talk to them.”

I fail at keeping my body relaxed, now poised for battle. “I don’t want to miss your show. I saw you dancing a minute ago, and Maggie, that was…beautiful.”

Her eyes move to her feet, and she flexes her ankle. I know it’s hurting. I want to get her ice and stay with her, but I’m running out of time, and understanding where she’s at is more important.

“Thank you. Shane, I want this for you if you want it. You’re so talented, and after pulling the defense together this season, you’re clearly meant for bigger things.”

I’m completely failing to get her to see what I want her to see, and I want to ram my head into a wall. I take a breath, needing to calm my temper. “I don’t want this to change things between us.”

I hear her take a breath this time, her eyes flicking between mine, searching. “It won’t.”

“How can you say that? I feel like this has already changed everything.” I don’t know if she can hear the panic in my voice or see my pulse jumping out of my neck, but in just a second, I’m going to lose my shit.

“Because…you’re my best friend.” Her voice is tender and soft. She shrugs. “There’s no changing that…no matter what. I’m not going anywhere.”

I grab her and pull her to me, hugging her so tight. It’s what I needed to hear. To know she’s not given up on me. My entire body relaxes with relief as I take in her scent and the feel of her body against mine. We stand there for a minute or two, wrapped together. I’m not willing to let her go.

When I finally do, she takes a step back. “I got you. I hope you know that. I want everything for you. When we made vows, I committed myself to you and only you. That hasn’t changed.”

I stare at her, my stomach hitting the floor with a thud because there’s a but coming.

“I got a little mixed up.” She looks down. “It’s my fault. You were honest with me going into this, and I needed your help. I don’t want anything to change, Shane, but someday I want everything too.”

Acid burns as it rises in my throat, and I’m a second away from looking for a trash can. “What does that mean?” I choke the question out.

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