Page 114 of I Got You

“Fine. Then kiss me goodbye because I really have to go.”

I pull my head up to meet her eyes to see if she’s serious. “You want me to kiss you?”

“Shane, are you new?” She smiles, linking her arms around my neck.

I’m not going to argue. I cup her face with my hands and dive in, kissing her like I’ve wanted to since I woke her up this morning. My hands move into her loose hair as she scoots forward, linking her arms around my neck and pulling me closer. Her body presses into me, and her soft, sweet lips move over mine like we've done this a thousand times. I kiss her back with all the desire and need that’s been driving me crazy.

When I feel her relax in my hands, I pull back, letting her catch her breath. She rests her head against my shoulder, holding on to me.

“We have to take this really slow,” she whispers.

“I know.” I place a kiss just below her ear. “We will.”

“Grizz?”

“Yeah.”

“As much as I’d like to do this a while more, I really have to go. I’m probably going to be late for class.”

I pull away just enough to see her face. She smiles, and I could fall right back in. She fists my shirt to pull me close again, kissing me one more time. I help her down, and she gathers her things.

“Be careful with your ankle today. Keep it iced between classes.”

“I will.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Yes. Later,” she smirks, closing the door.

I have no idea what to do with this woman. I never know what to expect. Her confidence. Her openness. Her trust in me. I want to live up to it all. I want whatever is growing between us to work. I’m finding I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything before.

Slow. She wants to take it slow, and the reality is that’s what I need as well. I don’t want to hurt Maggie. I can’t. I’d never be able to forgive myself. Maybe if we take it a day at a time, somewhere along the way, I can figure out how to do this. To understand if this is all I have, will it ever be enough.

∞∞∞

After practice, I step into my tiny office and find a text message from Rob.

ROB: I need an answer. We’re out of time. You in or out?

I’ve held him off as long as I can, and I’m still no closer to understanding what I want, so I dial Sean, knowing he’ll shoot me straight.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” Sean says as I take a seat behind my desk.

“How’s your ribs?” He bruised a couple in the last game and is benched, which he’s not handling well.

“Sucks. I hate sitting out. It’s given me too much time to think, and I’m not sure I like what I’m finding.”

“Like what?”

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking. “Did you ever find yourself lost in all of this? Like you’re not sure what’s real and what really matters anymore?”

I clear my throat. This doesn’t sound like him. Of the three of us, Sean is the one who has it most together. He’s smart, easygoing, calm, and rolls with whatever life deals him.

“I guess I had to face that when I shattered my knee. Everything came crashing down all at once. Everything I’d worked my whole life for, all that mattered to me, was just gone.”

Sean sighs. “Yeah, I guess that’s just it. When the dream is over, what’s left? You know? The game. Your friends. The people who only like you for your name. The status and fame. It can all just disappear, and if that’s the only thing that matters or that you really have, where does that leave you?”

“You alright? Do I need to be worried?”

---